Are you reading my posts? My book? Asking because prevention is worth so much more than a pound of rescue and recovery. Information sharing. Yesterdays news will factor into tomorrow's headlines, well at least until the next breaking news takes over.
I learned to pay attention years ago. Sometimes we miss out on things because we get busy, think something is none of our business, do not want to admit reality, give people more credit than they deserve, think sand and buckets are head gear. Fill in the rest.
I don't have all the questions, let alone the answers. I pray to the One who sees the bigger picture and who gives assistance.
But here are some questions because ASKing saves kids? Do you know why I ask? The question comes from a program years ago about asking about guns in homes. I take it beyond the trigger. Once that trigger is pulled, there is no prevention.
What stage started at the school in Bend, Oregon? What stage of grief is happening now?
Do you know the term bystander in child assault prevention? Bully, bullied and bystander? Murderer, victim, witness? Rapist, victim, onlookers?
Are you situationally aware?
Do you pay attention to your kids?
Do you listen? Do you value their input on other kids or adults? Do you tell them "it's not nice to tattle" when they are telling?
Do you see security fails at your home?
Do you see security flaws at the schools?
Do you know the kids in your neighborhood?
Do you know the adults in your neighbood?
Do you know the teens in your neighborhood?
Do you know if your friends own guns that are secured from reach of the guests or children?
Do you get good or bad vibes when with someone?
Do you know your children's friends?
Do you know your kids online persona?
Do you know friends of your spouse?
Do you know the safety routine at your house?
Do you know the safety protocol at your the school where your children attend?
Do you know the safety routine at the schools in your neighborhood?
Do you know any law enforcement officers?
Do you care that each time a school is shot up, and people die or are injured, it costs all of us?
I could not answer all these questions in 1998 let alone answering all of them in 2026. But we should ASK, especially if you have kids.
Do you know that no one is immune from heartache but we are not powerless? Do you have eyes, ears, can speak and have intuition?
Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
Do you know that the "b.tch is a trigger word and should be taken as a warning sign?
So pick some questions to ASK yourself. See how you do.
I had a question for my school in 1998. It was about having a workshop so we could be on the same page about a troubled child. It ended up being a risky question for reasons explained in detail in my book, Stopping School Violence One Teacher's Silent Scream. It was one of the most important questions that I have ever asked.
Maybe it only takes one question to make a difference.
The shooting in Bend, Oregon, no matter how it is spun, indicates failure on several levels. If the bystander scenario is true, then ASK yourself, Is it really the gun that needs to be outlawed?
ASK..how and why a 16 year old got away with murder? Look at all the details that should come out unless there is a cover up. Then ASK more. School districts are good at covering up. ASK: Why hide anything if the safety and well being of the students is fact and not spin?
Get to the heart of the matter. Two guns and two hearts factored into the failure and rescue and recovery in Bend, Oregon.
The lawsuits will come and maybe a criminal case. Will the mother of the shooter, now a member of the school shooters mother's club, be held legally accountable? Is it spin?
Did you notice that the principal of the school in Bend, Oregon has not attended the press conferences? Neither have the assigned SRO's Have they been gagged?
Today is Bend, Oregon. Tomorrow could it be your school? Asking, not telling.
Reality bites. The more you, ASK, the more you know.
The shooters ask but not because they want to save anyone.
Why would you buy a weapon for troubled person? My book has some scenarios of "after the fact" parent questions. Some parents are dead first.
Will Monday morning quarterbacking help? Will the podcasters and pundits make money off the backs of dead children?
Will another teacher be a Shannon Wright? It seems one in Bend struggled with the shooter.
What did Shannon Wright do?
I ask questions for a friend, who I never met.
Do you want your school or child mourned internationally? I do not, and that, is another reason why I write.
Marian R. Carlino
October 17, 2026