Autopsies

Some post mortems make me sick. Not necessarily physically, but heart sick. The early part of the grieving stage can be, "romanticized". Every school shooting incident falls victim. Defense mechanism? The public falls victim in suicides also.

The recent news in my area is falling now. The community is using artificial light. It will only mask, not heal. It may keep the story above the fold a little longer.

There is nothing romantic about murder/suicide. Yet, the patterns of responses are predictal.

If children were not murder victims of the suicidal actions, I may not ask as many questions. Suicide always leaves living victims and has patterns. It is a sensitive topic. But discussion is absolutely necessary. Turning to the light means turning to faith, honesty and the Truth. The Truth always lays bare the darkness.

Make no mistake, darkness happened on November 3. The actions of a father brought his thoughts to the light. To whom was he listening?

He chose broad daylight on an election day. He elected to have his actions scrutinized. Votes are coming in on him.

Reality is, it was not good. Who was listening to him? We see partially, it is true. But God does reveal puzzle pieces. Free will gets in our way at times. And, "it can not happen here" thinking is a problem. No one is immune from life.

The police, one reporter says, are angry. I hope they turn their angry energy into a thorough investigation of the murderer. I hope the police are talking with the wife/mother before fantasy sets in or she has a total breakdown. Are friends comforting or giving advice that cloud the facts? Hmm, it happens. Cornell case anyone?

Two children are dead, pushed to their deaths. The police know who, how, where and the weapon. But, unless they take the easy way out, the WHY ? should be clanging,  Insurance companies may start a lengthy investigation if the police do not.

Have lawyers been engaged? Suicide is not a covered life insurance benefit.

Other children are involved just by being friends or school mates. Public schools were closed. I know why, but why?  A place of work, a daycare got closed. How did the closings impact your normal? Local family impact on who else?

There is a father explaining on video with his child in the interview. At least he is discussing. Will a spoonful of sugar help medicine go down when children catch onto the con?

Suicide leaves a life long impact. I am not an expert. I am an observer and have ears to hear.

One podcaster mentions clinical depression. Not all clinically depressed parents take their children to a roof and push (no gun). And has that been a diagnosed condition? If so, clinical staff need to answer questions too. Did he talk about suicide?  Homicide?

The wife went on defense quickly? What did she know? Only the truth will set her free. She will have to forgive herself and her dead husband. I hope she seeks competent help and honesty.

I know first hand what happens when a child dies in a family even to health reasons, not murder. It is life changing. Relationships may end. Alcohol, dtugs, or work are used to bury the pain.  Sudden death, even with known health issues, generates questions.

Even in happy deaths, pain is real.

Romantic gestures can turn sour, fast. 

A man on death row in Pennsylvania is there because a little girl was one of the victims. Death row was put on the table, not because of the dead adults. 

If the father had lived, the romance part may never even exist in Mt. Lebanon. Would trees get lit? Would the mother recommend?

One person interviewed said no one could predict it. Really? Patterns will be found if autopsies are done. She works with kids, anyone concerned besides me?

I list questions, ASKs because I have learned.

Listen or watch if you choose. These are links about the Mt. Lebonan murder/suicide. Below are questions to ponder whether you watch or not.

The "not predictable" comment by a woman who works with children inspired me to counter.

https://youtu.be/b8fisf9yzxg?is=ffqod2C2CdZne5bf

https://youtube.com/shorts/7NIeXq7-dCo?is=YRMlwJKhY7eAA2iy

https://youtu.be/BfR8FmOidHg?is=EN2dqD_hzgPGN2u9

https://youtu.be/w_cKjFSSgRU?is=jPmf1Sm_1ORhbOqs

https://youtu.be/99AWXSbQzYA?is=JdQ0mYRNTgQPV5fL

Any new laws needed? In the womb, if a faher kills the baby, murder charges are on the table, even if the baby was not the intended target. (Only the mother can legally kill a child in the womb in most states.)

Was an abortion in the picture, anywhere in time? If you are not sure why I ask that then you have no clue of the impact of abortion on men.

Do you live or work with someone who is:

Street angel, house devil? 

Street devil, house angel?

Vengeful?

Not forgiving?

Walking on egg shells?

Involved with drugs?

Irrational consumer of alcohol?

Lost a driver's license?

Fixated on weapons?

Thinks suicide is a viable option?

Reports to a clinical staff member, homicidal or suicidal ideations?

Takes medications for depression or anxiety?

See side effects? Do you know side effects of medications?

Living beyond their means of income?

Gambling debts?

Everything is, "I am just joking." Do you hear the term, I am going to kill you? Joke?

Is divorce on the table? The vulnersbility to families during divorce is well documented.

Is there an affair?

Rapid change in behavior?

Have you heard the word "Hate" uttered?

New, unusual purchases?

Suddenly, no money?

No sex life in a marriage?

Punches, broken furniture, threats?

Absences from parental duty?

Buried heads in the sand?

Strikes out at honest messengers?

With some of the questions, I had first hand experience, no one died. And not every question needs answered. But awareness in suicide and homicide prevention does not require a clinical degree.

When the train of life comes barrelling down the track and kills people, we have to ask the questions. In this case several answers are known.

But the Why-s are not known. Even the why of location is needed.

You do not think the location is a clue. Have you played Clue?

Ask before another headline is made. Copycats are real. Ask before this story fades to the way back machine. Ask before a parking garage gets closed in memorial or loses income. Did you park in that garage?

I worked in Atlantic City where suicide jumpers were not that rare.  They used Casino and public garages as chosen locations to end their lives. Very public deaths. Casinos like to cover them up. I do not remenber one in which the jumper pushed others first.

From the Teacher's Desk with a dose of reality.

This blog is about Child Assault Prevention.  

Marian R. Carlino

November 8, 2026

Lean in and Lean On

As I was riding the elevator down to get coffee in my building this morning, I met a new employee. His expertise is in maintenance, not cleaning.  He has to troubleshoot daily. We leaned into a conversation. 

Maybe older than he looks, he is experienced in working in large, commercial properties. Besides cordial greetings with a handshake, he gave me a figurative piece of a puzzle, and I gave him a piece of another one. Symbiotic relationships are important. He told me if I ever need something, to let him know. I feel confident I can lean on his knowledge. This is a residential property which I do love. 

He told me it takes 6 to 8 months for the city inspectors to accomplish a task for which we have been waiting months already. City inspections take time. The time factor is not in my buildings control it would seem. We are about half way there. I learned more in that 5 minute converation than in most! He seems caring. And, one elevator ride explains why our third elevator is still down. Patience is tested even in small ways of first world  inconvenience. 

As we exited into the lobby. the music playing was a cover for Lean on Me. I told our concierge how I love the song. The original, written and sung by Bill Withers, is memorable. I "went back" to the summer between my junior and senior years in high school. This employee was not born when I first heard the lyrics.

Music and elevator rides make connections. Both offer a way to travel.

Lean on Me

https://youtu.be/fOZ-MySzAac?is=5orJpyO2QZl7Djmu

Lean on Me (lyrics)

https://youtu.be/Nx_D0VTHBag?is=HsqZ-G4vk2mOB0ch

I hope you can make a connection to this song then take the sentiment out with you into the real world. Pain, sorrow and hope are real.

I read at least the first few comments of the YT videos I post.  These are not new videos. The first one has 16,000 comments. People share sentiments, memories and regrets. One commenter grieved the suicide death of a loved one.

Comments are written long after the posting. The second video explains in one comment "no man is an island". A baby boomer may have posted that!

Have you memories of leaning on, after you have leaned into a conversation?

A priest who has a YT channel cautioned about listening to music. He talked about connections to our souls. So I hope this songs lifts your spirits, past, present and future.

My motivation for writing started because a class of Courageous Cats leaned on me. They trusted me. They were named Courageous Cats for a reason known to me and, even though I did not realize it at the start of that school year, known to God. To me, my father's symbol is a cat. (Long story!)

The first man I ever leaned on died on November 7, 1985. He was a father of many ages. I think we could trust leaning on him because he leaned in. He listened to the One we can trust above all others. He also was one of the first lay people to become a lector. I remember once he wept while reading from the ambo. He made it through.

I traveled down Memory Lane this morning with a little help....

Where are you journeying today? Who is with you?

Keep us from just singing. 

May the souls of the faithfully departed rest in peace.

From the Teacher's Desk with Love,

Marian R. Carlino

November 7, 2025