"B" and His Mom

The kid is dead….it was not good news.

When someone dies from drugs or violence, the veil of “he is at peace” is often used to cover the truth. The following is an editorial I wrote about the children who hung out at a house at the corner near mine. Not all of the kids were trouble makers, but some were troubled. One in particular suffered as a young child when his seemingly all together family (parents would hold hands and kiss in church at the sign of peace) was broken by divorce- infidelity. The father turned to a younger woman, and the mother turned to alcohol. Both turned away from their faith practice.

His obituary, when he died at the age of 25 in 2014, stated” his contagious smile and positive approach to life impacted so many people around him.” To come to grips with the death of a family member who was troubled, an obituary will list many falsehoods. The young man was troubled. My neighbor, who took offense at the editorial (below) because it was her house, told me once “this child has been on the streets since he was six.” That would have been about right, around the time the family broke up. Family and inner circle friends knew. He excelled at sports they said. Yes, he did. He “barked in the face of other team members” and was used as the lethal weapon against other teams. He was a troubled child who bullied others. People knew. Voices of concern ignored. His mother worked at the local school which was one reason he got away with behaviors which would have gotten other kids held accountable.

So, he is one of the kids who didn’t make it. People thought I didn’t care about him because I wanted him held accountable at hockey games, at school and in the neighborhood. The “barking” was something on which his coaches and I would disagree. A life of trouble. Some trouble he made for himself, some trouble was imposed on him. He is one kid I will never forget. His death is not romantic no matter how the obituary is spun. The adults in his life failed him. He failed himself, because he was a talented and very handsome young boy and young man. There is so much more to life when at a young age, people don’t abandon their children.

In 2015, an article on WHYY ran a picture of the bereaved mother of the deceased 25- year old. She was interviewed. Per the article, he was in and out of rehab from the age of 13. The phone call she received on the day of his death was that he committed suicide. He was addicted to heroin.  She wants to help others now.

As an at- risk youth told me years ago, “my mom let me on my own at the age of 12. She is trying to make up for it now." He told me it was too late. He was right. He was apprehended during our program for holding people at knife point. His mom bailed him out and he came to see me after that to offer those words of wisdom.

I am posting this editorial. Maybe there will be some other neighbor who cares and is not ostracized for caring. I can still see those hockey games. It wasn’t a pretty picture. There have not been new pictures of this kid since 2014.  The mother said she should have taken a picture of him in his coffin.

He was laid out at the funeral home owned by one of the hockey coaches with whom I would disagree- especially about alcohol.  The kid was buried out of the church I attended.  Sometimes the only time people visit a church is in a pine box.

 If you want to help the future, don’t lie about the past.
Letter to The Current April 11, 2002

A few years ago, when I started addressing the issue of school violence publicly, I was often told that the outbreaks were “isolated incidents”. It seems that point of view has been proven wrong time and time again.

The extreme outbursts seem to be the result of small incidents being ignored to the point where the attention seekers do the worst to get their point across.

We see it worldwide. I can’t do a lot for the world in general, but I can do something about my children’s schools and neighborhood. So, I write and call the police when I think something is wrong.

A recent article about the Patterson juveniles who are now facing murder charges is a sad story. Last June, a group of teenagers went on a “wilding” spree. That is today’s jargon for a rampage. As a result, several people were injured and one person was murdered.

Could these incidents have been prevented? Monday morning quarterbacking would probably say, “Yes.”

Good teachers, coaches and even some experts would tell you that we are to learn from the mistakes of the “game” so we don’t make the same errors again. Therefore, I am asking the parents of the kids who hang out at the corner, near my house to take a good look at what is going on.

When the children leave your property and harass others living nearby, they just might be on the path to more trouble. Let your children know that there are some people in the neighborhood who care about them and don’t want their “minor mis-behaviors” to escalate to something more serious.



Marian R. Carlino

April 11, 2002

At the time I lived in S.P., NJ. 

Coffee cups can hold more then just plain coffee.

Michael and Mrs. Weinstein

An ordinary murder-

This editorial was published in The Current on March 28, 2007

It may have been just an “ordinary murder” except for the fact that a teacher admired by her family, friends and colleagues had the presence of mind to record the events leading up to her death.

Therefore, in death, she probably reached more people than she would have in a lifetime of classroom teaching. And although the young man did not listen to her pleas for sparing her life, she did save his life. Her words, recorded, led to her murderer's apprehension. Without being captured, one can only imagine where he may have ended up had he not been stopped.

Who knows how many more people he may have killed or if he would have been killed himself. He is in prison, but there are worse places than that to spend one’s life. He is still a young man who may never see freedom again, but he can change his heart which was something Kathleen Weinstein tried to convince him to do.

Mrs. Weinstein’s colleagues can learn something from her last words and actions also. The fact that Mrs. Weinstein recorded the conversation indicates that she wanted someone to hear it. One of her former colleagues stated in The Press (AC) article "and I believe that she wouldn’t have told on him. She would have probably tried to help him. She was the kind of person that when she gave her word, she meant it.”

No one can help another human being by hiding the crime committed. Mrs. Weinstein would have told. Her recordings prove that. And in that recording is also proof of her commitment to being kind. For there is nothing kind about letting people get away with murder. We can all learn a lesson from Mrs. Weinstein.



Marian R. Carlino

Published in The Current March 28, 2007.



A high school student wanted her car and abducted her and killed her. It happened in 1996. It made the news again in 2007.

The principal of the killer said he was a high school sophomore and “described as average” and “not known for disciplinary problems.”

He went to plead guilty in 1997 per the article, but in 2007 he retracted his statement and had a new trial.  His first attorney had an affair with the mother.   He tried to argue it was not his voice on the tape.

New York Times article March 20, 1996

New York Times Article February 28, 2007

DAVID AND ME

The mother, in this scenario let The Press know…the result was a public response:

Just like the mother of the child with whom I worked (violent behavior, violent drawings), the parent of a troubled child took to the public to voice concerns. The mother of my student went to a bar and shared my workshop request. How do I know? Other parents told me. They were some of the parents who wrote their own letters of concern so many years ago.

Since the mother of a child in Dennis Township, NJ went public, some of us responded. Here is my response. And below it, is a response with another point of view to my opinion.   I remember Mork and Mindy.  I taught first grade at the time.  "NaNoo NaNoo".  Unfortunately, "Mork" is dead now too.

School’s concern was well founded—

Regarding the October 20 story- “Stick figure sketch lands boy, 7, on school suspension”:

 (The stick figure drawing was published.) 
The drawing shows very clearly that one named person is at the receiving end of another person with a gun. I would like to congratulate the child who did the right thing regarding school safety. According to the article, the child who was given this picture on the school bus gave it to his parents, who then contacted the school. The Dennis Township school district then took action, based on a policy set in place because of the extremes in school violence nationwide.

Every child and adult in every school has the right to be safe. When anyone, child or adult, violates the right to be safe, action may and should be taken. In this case, a picture is worth a thousand words. If a person stated that I am going to kill you, even without a weapon, only a foolish person would not take action.

Some may disagree with the type or amount of consequences given for a poor choice, but consequences do occur naturally and logically. Now the school district should find out why the incident occurred. The mother (of the offending child), who chose to go public with her complaints, should be grateful for the concern shown and should work with the school to solve the problem.

Marian R. Carlino 

October 10, 2007 

The stick figure had a boy’s name David with another stick figure, named, Me holding a gun at the back of the David stick figure.
This is a response from a reader online: (spelling errors of the response are not corrected) 

No, Marian Carlino is an idiot who writes to the papers frequently and spouts off nonsense.  She doesn’t understand that a 7 year old doesn’t posess the cognitive skills or thought processes to sit and form intent that was alleged by the stupendously stupid school district.  The only danger here was the risk of a paper cut.  This was a typical knee-jerk reaction by a bunch of morons who biggest concern is to wrap up a days work in time to get home and watch Mork and Mindy reruns on TV Land.

I hope this childs mother sues tha pants off the school district and wins millions.  Maybe then voters will think twice before electing morons to the school board who make stupid policies and actually elect a few people with intelligence.  What was needed here was a careful, measured response.  Would it have killed the principal to talk to the child and parent?  Maybe do a little education, you know, like schools are supposed to do.  Posted by Scott on Sat Oct 27, 2007 2:19 pm

Two other editorials thought the school district over reacted. One is included below. People talked about the issue on the radio too. Both writers assumed a suspension was done before talking to the parents. 

Let’s lighten up on boy’s sketch

How complicated was the behavior of the second-grader who was suspended for a day because his art work included a stick figure hold a weapon pointed at another stick figure?

Did he know about the zero tolerance policy? Was he crying for help? Or was he concerned about the president’s veto of the State Children’s Health Insurance Program?

He’s 7 years old, for God’s sake.

Anthony Notturno

Villas

How many people lightened up on Cruz, (not Tom) or the Columbine killers, or all the others- when they were 7?

Young children form intent.

Marian R. Carlino

June 23, 2018

Marion Rose and Me: Never Shall We Forget

It took Elie Wiesel ten years to write his memoirs of the Holocaust.  School children across America read Night (1960), one of his many books.   Elie Wiesel did not want the world to forget about the horrors of the concentration camps.  His work led him to international fame for his teachings and writings.  He wanted the world to know so it wouldn't happen again, and yet so it does.

As I  am writing this and looking at a biography of his life, I have just learned that his wife's name was Marion Rose.  They had a son named Elisha.

I understand his passion.  I shall never forget about the loss of life in our schools.  And I connect the dots to abortion because abortion victims, as were the holocaust victims, are targeted and not random.  Abortion supporters send the message that it is okay to kill.  Abortion has ties to the mentality that led to the Holocaust.  Do the school shooters?

The Nazi's targeted youth to help do their dirty work.  So, to whom are the teen killers listening?  Do they create their  scenarios without researching others.  Reporters and researchers are finding the shooters research previous mass shootings.  One in particular is the Columbine massacre.  Cruz in Parkland, Florida (used guns) and Hribal, Murrysville, Pa ( used knives) idolized the Columbine killers.

After I left teaching, I did read all sorts of documentation and resources.  Before I left,  I paid attention during the 1997-98 school year, which is one reason why I spoke out for my own class and school.   I was given one book to read on dealing with children with oppositional defiance disorder (catch all term).  None of the recommendations involved using happy faces.  Most of the recommendations involved extensive therapy and hospitalization.

I was not familiar with the word "copy cat" as it came to school shootings during the 1997-98 school year..  I just felt that the child with whom I worked fit the profile of children who were shooting in their schools.. I now understand the term, "copy cat."  Many of the school shooters reference the Columbine killers.  Nineteen years after their horrific plans of violence (that did not come to full fruition), the Columbine effect is a valid term.


The Columbine massacre happened just four days before I was supposed to speak at NJEA event for an appeal.  I brought the newspaper to my testimony.  Students and one teacher dead and others injured seriously.  I remember the young man dangling out of the window waiting for help.  And one fat man at the talk on April 24, 1999 had the nerve to laugh when I spoke.  My child asked me why.

I had no explanation other than his ignorance.  We can't afford to be ignorant.

Elie Wiesel had a world stage with his message.  He wrote, taught and spoke to get the message across.  He had victim impact testimony as did Anne Frank.

As people turned to gun control as a main way of dealing with the Columbine massacre, there were those who actually were doing research and then those, like me, reading the information.  I had lots of newspaper articles saved for many years, then I started clearing them out.   But the web is full of information.

As the ignorant blame the guns and  are marching for gun control, they are not reading the history.  Trains were a weapon used in Nazi Germany... how else would they transport millions of people to their deaths?  Elie Wiesel did not advocate the banning of trains.

So through the years, Columbine has been a steady subject of interest in the news.  Other posts have additional articles.

2013:

https://www.cnn.com/2013/09/18/us/columbine-high-school-shootings-fast-facts/index.html

In 2001, after a "America has witnessed a wave of shootings at its high schools", 60 Minutes did an update.  https://www.cbsnews.com/news/what-really-happened-at-columbine/

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/columbine-were-there-warning-signs/

Slate Magazine in 2004 had this expose.  http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/assessment/2004/04/the_depressive_and_the_psychopath.html
A section of the piece:

"School shooters tend to act impulsively and attack the targets of their rage: students and faculty. But Harris and Klebold planned for a year and dreamed much bigger. The school served as means to a grander end, to terrorize the entire nation by attacking a symbol of American life. Their slaughter was aimed at students and teachers, but it was not motivated by resentment of them in particular. Students and teachers were just convenient quarry, what Timothy McVeigh described as "collateral damage."

The killers, in fact, laughed at petty school shooters. They bragged about dwarfing the carnage of the Oklahoma City bombing and originally scheduled their bloody performance for its anniversary (which was April 19). Klebold boasted on video about inflicting "the most deaths in U.S. history." Columbine was intended not primarily as a shooting at all, but as a bombing on a massive scale. If they hadn't been so bad at wiring the timers, the propane bombs they set in the cafeteria would have wiped out 600 people. After those bombs went off, they planned to gun down fleeing survivors. An explosive third act would follow, when their cars, packed with still more bombs, would rip through still more crowds, presumably of survivors, rescue workers, and reporters. The climax would be captured on live television. It wasn't just "fame" they were after—Agent Fuselier bristles at that trivializing term—they were gunning for devastating infamy on the historical scale of an Attila the Hun. Their vision was to create a nightmare so devastating and apocalyptic that the entire world would shudder at their power.

Harris and Klebold would have been dismayed that Columbine was dubbed the "worst school shooting in American history." They set their sights on eclipsing the world's greatest mass murderers, but the media never saw past the choice of venue. The school setting drove analysis in precisely the wrong direction.

Fuselier and Ochberg say that if you want to understand "the killers," quit asking what drove them. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were radically different individuals, with vastly different motives and opposite mental conditions. Klebold is easier to comprehend, a more familiar type. He was hotheaded, but depressive and suicidal. He blamed himself for his problems.

Harris is the challenge. He was sweet-faced and well-spoken. Adults, and even some other kids, described him as "nice." But Harris was cold, calculating, and homicidal. "Klebold was hurting inside while Harris wanted to hurt people," Fuselier says. Harris was not merely a troubled kid, the psychiatrists say, he was a psychopath. "

April 20 is Hitler's birthday.

As at the high school in Parkland, Florida, a "deputy and six other policemen took positions but none of the entered the school." ( CBS article) Training after Columbine was supposed to fix that. As did the sheriff in Parkland, Florida, the sheriff of Jefferson County, Sheriff Stone said his deputies did as they were trained to do. So, don't expect success when the Swat team is called in.

The news is constantly full of success stories too in which people did speak up and tragedy was prevented. But we tend to listen to the people who failed to prevent the shootings. Knowing warning signs and speaking up- persistently.

These articles listed above, and the many articles published already about the high school in Parkland, Florida, show the complete failure on the part of the schools and the police to do their jobs. Students from Parkland, Florida are marching to the wrong drum beat. They should be attending every school board meeting and city counsel meeting in their own community to get answers and demand change.

Holocausts and massacres happen on the world stage when people don't pay attention to what is happening in their own homes and communities. "Hitler youth"- alive and well and living in our schools, planning the next massacre. Some of them use guns.

Two years after Columbine, a small group of terrorists actually succeeded in pulling off part of the Columbine killers' plan.  That was deemed to be a massive failure to read the warning signs too.

The whole world is a stage, some actors are deadly.  We held the German citizens and the terrorists families and countries accountable for letting the holocaust and 9/11 happen.  Yet, we allow the school personnel and police keep their jobs despite their failures.  We make the failures "voices of reason".  School personnel should be held accountable for not speaking up before a shooting.

The leaders are charging, while the leadership sleeps.  There isn't a happy face sticker in the world which can stop the bleed.   But making sure there is accountability for following the many laws on school safety may be motivation to do more then protect the guilty.

Many of the victim's parents who wanted answers after Columbine were ostracized for speaking up.

The trains took the victims and people looked on.  There are Holocaust deniers today.


Like Marion Rose (Wiesel), I will never forget. I will be persistent in speaking up.

Marian Rose Carlino
June 17, 2018

The Leaders are Charging, While Those Who Lead, Sleep

Remembering and Re-enactments

Remembering:
I have been to Gettysburg, Pa; visited the monuments to death and dying for the rights of others in Washington, D.C; have been to the memorial grounds of Flight 93 and the 9/11 Memorial in NYC. (It was nothing short of a miracle that the plane of Flight 93 crashed and the fuel exploded in an empty field, in a rural area just east of Pittsburgh- a few hundred miles away from its intended target- the people on the plane had angels directing their hands or other assistance; and that the buildings in NYC did not topple sideways). Remembering the dead means so much more when it happens to your own family. We are always thankful for miracles in war because in war, the violence is never prevented. Miracles are needed.

Psalm 91 is called the “soldiers’ prayer”. I have read and distributed a book about the miracle stories told in war. Men and women retell how the prayer worked in their lives. I found it interesting that the t-shirt the injured teacher at the Indiana school, Noblesville West Middle School, site of the most recent nationalized shooting on May 25, 2018, wore a t-shirt: #91 NOB STRONG. He said it was the number he wore for football. (I hate slogans after a massacre. We are----)

We know miracles happen and we know war in a fallen world is inevitable. Unless heads are firmly planted in the sand, all know that war is not the answer. Normal people actually try to avert war. We are supposed to remember so “it never happens again”. But generations who remember, die off. The new kids on the block are not only leading the charge, the new kids are also the ones leading. The learning curve of pain and heartache starts over.  Adult leaders are sleeping.

In 1998, the Director of the National School Safety Center, someone I corresponded with many times, said for school districts it is not “if” it is when. In 1998, he could see the handwriting on the wall because he studied the issue. War hasn’t ended either. I have heard survivors of the massacres, including a personal testimony of a psychologist from Jonesboro.  She said it was like a war zone that day.

When we re-write history, as is the current climate in this country, we will forget. Maybe a statue of someone you don’t like would invoke a conversation. But, we remove them so they can’t “say anything.” I know that is why the removal of our history, good and bad, is being changed by the ignorant who are leading and leading the charge. How many teachers ever discuss the past school shootings in their preparation on becoming a teacher? Police and fireman sign up to be injured on the job. Teachers do not.

I have been remembering the past this week. Why? Because what happened to me may be part of my history and Northfield’s history (whether they accept it or not), but the issue is not history. 2018 is proof that the new ones leading the charge are probably paying close attention to the chargers in the past. Those leading, especially in the school districts that have failed to protect the safety of the kids, have forgotten how to lead.

War is an adult topic but with varying degrees of information, appropriate for the developmental age of the children, war is discussed. After a visit to Auschwitz, then Governor Kean, of NJ was moved enough to have the Holocaust Curriculum mandated to be taught. I attended a mandatory teacher workshop, presented by the experts at the Stockton State College (now university) before I left teaching. Then after I left teaching, I attended another one. It was after Columbine. The curriculum was updated to include that massacre. Violence prevention was the reason the curriculum became mandatory, not to glorify the violence.

Would I have a detailed descriptive discussion of war with very young children? I got flack when my kids were younger because I didn’t forbid certain shows- teen aged mutant ninja turtles were a hot topic in the early 90’s. They were the good guys, right? I have discussed child assault prevention with children as young as preschool in a developmentally appropriate presentation.

Two movies that were a huge mistake to watch or allow children to watch was the Batman movie with the penguin and watching Dick Tracy with children in the room. To say the least, they were very dark movies and not my taste at all. Boy, were we fooled by the connection to the comic strip and campy television show of the 60’s. Some lessons we learn the hard way. If not the good guys, the bad guys will. (Oh, wait, good and bad- probably not acceptable to call someone bad anymore.)

Re-enacting History:
The Columbine kids were ahead of their time, right? Their deadly efforts are now referenced as the “Columbine effect”. Copycats try to outdo their heroes. Who did the killers study? The Nazi’s are just one of the groups per information left behind.  In America, we have people who re-enact war for entertainment, and of course, in the following example I am not talking about the romanticized versions of war shown on television and the big screen.

September 1997, a group of re-enactors from the south Jersey area took up camp in Birch Grove Park. I would hear about it in my classroom that fall. One of my second graders was an active participant. It became one of my documented concerns.

In their own words in an article by Erin Ruth, working for The Current, interviewed and covered the events of the weekend.

The title: Union Soldiers protect N’field during Civil War Weekend. Excerpts of the article are in italics below:

“Soldiers toting 10-pound rifles that could hit a target 500 yards away shot and killed their enemy on the football field at Birch Grove Park this weekend.
The tranquil field, encased by trees, was littered with slumped-over bodies. Nearby, a family celebrated a birthday and ducks contentedly gobbled stale bread out of stubby hands.
The group chose to represent Company K, (Sixth Regiment of Wisconsin) called the Iron Brigade or the Black Hat Brigade, because it was a famous brigade with the highest percentage of casualties in the Civil War.”

In a second article (not dated but from 1997-98

"They travel to other re-enactments on weekends, practice drills and receive instruction at Camp  Dawes in Mays Landing the month before the re-enactment season which starts in March and ends in November.  ...Bob R. of Gettysburg, Pa, said involvement in the group is physically, financially and emotionally draining."

The pictures of the uniform on a young child and holding one of those rifles was worth a thousand words.  Not part of an educational record.. public record.

Does anyone have any questions?   Connect the dots.  Our schools have become battlefields.  The bodies are slumped over.  The leaders are charging, while those who lead, sleep.

Psalm 91

Marian R. Carlino
June 9, 2018

LAWSUITS

 

Lawsuits-

After the shock and denial stages of dealing with school shootings or attacks, change to the anger stage, the lawsuits come.  You have seen the news.  The pictures are now predictable.  Shock, tears, people mingling in disbelief,  the prayer vigils (which would be mocked or declared un-Constitutional at other times). But anger will set in.  It is during this stage that many lawsuits are filed in the cases.

Sometimes people start filing right away.  There are time limits so filing against public entities is usually done within certain time frames.  Notice of Tort Claims are filed before lawsuits. Lawyers are generally involved.  

People want answers after the massacres or attack.  They want to hold someone accountable.  Fortunately, the killer  (if not killed or commits suicide in the action) generally is held accountable in a criminal court but they don't have the money.  So, the businesses and entities are targeted.  Parents, school districts, communities and law enforcement are always named.  

I cannot find fault in that.  But the targeted defendants have to be realistic.  Some will go after the gun manufacturers. I am not familiar with any lawsuits filed against car manufacturers or knife manufacturers when the damage is done with an automobile or steak knife.

The Hribal parents, in their video explaining the events of the time they learned that their son acted out the attack at Franklin Regional High School, explained that the mother noticed two kitchen knives missing after they learned the who, how and where of the attack.  Per the video, Alex took two knives from the block of knives on their kitchen counter.

Unfortunately, we do not find out the results of some court cases. Settlements out of court are made to "save the victims from a lengthy trial". Truthfully, the settlements are reached so that no one has to admit, "Hey, we got it wrong."

In the last few weeks, lawsuits have been announced from parents in Parkland, Florida; Orlando, Florida (Pulse Nightclub- two years ago this weekend) and now in Murrysville, Pa.

Las Vegas, Columbine, Virginia Tech, Penn State- pending and settled lawsuits brought about from the victims of the violence. Sandy Hook Elementary School parents went after the gun industry.

I hope the pending lawsuits go forward and are not settled. Everyone deserves their day in court in an honest or dishonest lawsuit.

I had my days in court with Northfield. Neither the parents nor the school district offered any defense.

This article link is about the lawsuit filed against the parents of the shooter in Sante Fe, Texas.  It asks some questions.  Sante Fe lawsuit.  The publication date is today. When was the Sante Fe shooting?  Answer- May 18, 2018.

From the article:  "The lawsuit filed against the Santa Fe shooting suspect's parents aims to hold gun owners responsible for the way they store their firearms around their troubled children. Experts say it fits into a nationwide pattern of gun liability cases that aspire to keep gun owners and manufacturers accountable through fear of high-cost lawsuits."

Marian R. Carlino

June 8, 2018

Stages of Grief

Stages of grief-

Thank you to Elizabeth Kubler Ross for her research in writing On Death and Dying, 1969. I read it so many years ago after our family lost a very young, loved one. I think the stages of grief can apply to areas of life even when no one has actually died, but someone has suffered loss.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross Foundation

This link has some wonderful quotes of Elizabeth Kubler Ross. One of her quotes is

“When you learn your lessons, the pain goes away.”
I am in workshop mode. This link gives worksheets that can be used.
https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheets/grief/none clicking on the pages gives a warning just so you know in case you chose to look at the worksheets.

The news is reporting (yes, Fox News but I also watch CNN, NBC and ABC etc.) that Charles Krauthammer is accepting the end stage of his life. He reports he has no regrets. Didn’t Barbara Bush accept death with grace also? I don’t know if she said she had no regrets.

But death is not always a physical loss of life. Are you going through a death of something and not someone? Have you ever experienced a person going to jail or a divorce? Have you ever lost a home to a flood, volcano or earthquake, fire, or forced to move? Has a loved one been lost but then is found? Is your community suffering from the loss of children in a school from drugs, guns, car accidents?

We go through stages of shock, denial, anger, depression and the acceptance when these events occur.We have all been there, haven’t we.? We have all experienced grief. I have lost people, places, and things in my life. I loved them all. But I had to let go and move on. If I hadn’t then I would have been stuck in one of the stages of grief that can lead to despair. Moving on does not mean we forget or cannot use the experiences to help others. We would never know about historical figures if we did forget. In fact, integration of the events into our present lives is actually healthy.

Yesterday, when I was watching the news about suicides, listening again to the parents of Alex Hribal in the video interviews, and the lawsuits being filed in several communities related to violence, I felt that part of these postings this week (while I am on a staycation with two of my favorite dogs) should involve the stages of grief.

The stages of grief that I experienced in 1998 included denial. I knew a shooting in my classroom could occur so it wasn’t that. I was in denial about the level of integrity, or lack thereof, that was present in the administration, CST and some BOE members. I was in shock for a time, too. The news on March 24, 1998 of the heroic death of Shannon Wright was shocking.  How could the district treat the issue that we were facing with such retribution when kids and teachers were dying across the country? Then depression for a few days. I didn’t take phone calls and I didn’t make my bed. Anger-yes. Righteous anger over what happened which led me to ask questions and get my head together for the next issues coming my way. And finally, acceptance and integration of the events into my life. I realized within the time span of the dismissal to when I spoke to the BOE on May 18, 1998 that “I didn’t need a classroom to teach.” I told Father Joe Newell that in one of our talks. The integration did not make the problems go away. I learned to work with them, sometimes falling back and forth between the stages.

I do get angry over the continuing school massacres. Do they bring up memories? Yes, but the memories lead me once again to action. The anger is righteous. Don’t let anyone tell you that you should not get angry. Jesus did if you are a follower of His. If not a believer, Ghandi must have been plenty angry over the injustices in his country. Martin Luther King, Jr., President Kennedy and Robert Kennedy were also angry- righteously. The rioters, shooters, knifers, plane and car/truck- jackers- are in a depressed state of some sort of grief and used their depression and unrighteous anger to maim and hurt others. They got stuck and brought others down with them.

Embrace the stages of grief. In the next part, the lawsuits that come after the shootings will be discussed.




Marian R. Carlino
June 8, 2018

Denial, stages of grief and lawsuits-
Part 1- Denial

As much as I am a follower of Jesus’ teachings, I have never adopted the philosophy of “kumbaya”, “don’t worry, be happy”, “or God will take care of it”. It is not that I disagree with the teachings that those expressions are loosely based upon but if one has ever read Scripture, paid some attention to the life of Jesus and his teaching while he was on earth; the stories of the prophets sent for years before Jesus showed up; and then the lives of the saints; one would know that taking a “don’t worry, be happy” philosophy is like putting a happy face sticker on a band-aid for a bleeding main artery and saying, “God will get this.”, then refuse to offer any further assistance.

There are many false teachers out there who are willing to let one look the other way and let God handle it… and that is when we have to pray for forgiveness for what we have failed to do.

If you want "Lord, Come By Here"- be prepared when He shows up. "Kumbaya, My Lord. What do you want me to do? Keep me from just singing."

Denial comes in when we fail or refuse to believe that there are situations that with prayer and practical application, we can act upon life. In order to get pregnant, two people have to join together. Mary was the one we are told through our faith practice who had the Holy Spirit work through her. She still had to consent. God would have allowed her to say, “No, not me. Try someone else for this job." Oh dear, Mary, thank you so much for taking on the task of carrying our Savior. He sent her an angel, not a burning bush.

Our Savior- too much for non-believers. I saw people say “rest in peace” this week after the two famous personalities committed suicide; people have prayer vigils after massacres; people mock Jesus and Mary- they must have been real. Jesus is the only one who resurrected and came back to talk about it. Mary is doing a lot of talking these days.

Denial, stages of grief and lawsuits are real before, during and after violent acts. Denial is not believing in something. In the cases of the violence in our schools, denial is first and foremost when people believe they are immune to heartache. Denial is also believing that God, who is real, does not expect you to “take the role” in prevention. Why would Saint Theresa of Avila relay the message that we are “his hands, his feet, his eyes, his arms, and his ears”, if He didn’t mean it?

Why is it that massacres are not prevented? God had a plan and gave the information. Someone knew. How do I know this? Not informed through a burning bush, but the Monday morning quarterbacking reports after the deed is done speak volumes. Reporters are on the cases for us, similar to the scribes. Not all the details may match but that is what the experts look for.

I have to be honest there have been times that I just want to say- “God, you handle this one.” He does handle it. He hands us pieces of the puzzle of life. I know because He never left me and has not put me to shame in the last 20 years of speaking about school violence. Again, No burning bushes have I run into, just people and the news reports about them, inform me.  Scripture is the source for learning about the “talk of God.”

The 1997-98 year was stressful (a warning sign of trouble in a class when the teacher is stressed and worried about safety). I prayed often and read Scripture. I went to an Ash Wednesday afternoon service to receive ashes in early February, 1998. I sent my daughter to ask if she could help. She was not happy. She wanted to sit passively too. I sure did. I sat next to a family I knew through school and my child’s friendship. My daughter came back to me and said she was not needed.

The next thing I knew, I heard my name called from Father Joe Newell who turned out later to be my spiritual director of sorts when the fan of life hit me. He said to me “Marian, we need you to distribute ashes.”

“Not me. Father, I am only a reader. I am not a Eucharistic minister.” I went to get one. He called me back. There was no escape. He did not grab me. I could have sat down and someone else would have stepped up.

The words I pronounced were “Turn away from sin and pay attention to the Gospel”. For a narrative that goes beyond my workshop intentions, I can just say, I did what I was told- at that moment and try ever since. I paid attention to the Gospel and I did take a clear look at my life. My life is a work in progress. I need affirmation of what I am doing is His work. He answers- usually through the news when it comes to the topic of violence- or sometimes personally.

I tried to get out of a role that God gave me as a messenger of repentance on that particular day. On that day He was preparing me for the role that also involved prayer and action. If you deny God, He will deny you. The role of teacher involved taking a roll- off the table of life I knew at the time.

I try not to be in denial about life or about God anymore.

If you lead your life in the “state of just singing", "just being happy and not worrying because you don’t care"; or "giving it all over to God" and not participating in the solution, well then, take a good look at your life. You just may be part of the problem.

I wasn’t given the type of work that Mary was so many years ago, but I was given something. As, Mary, I am very glad I got out of the stage of denial and said, “Yes”. I was probably more like one of the prophets, though, than like Mary, He had to call me back when I started to walk away. She said, “Let it be done to me according to Your Word.” I didn’t understand until I heard the words, “Turn away from sin and pay attention to the Gospel” coming out of my mouth as I blessed others. It sounded like the priest, the other Father Joe, was shouting the words in my ears. I was not deaf and he really wasn't yelling at the people he was blessing.

Denial can lead to an eternity of regret. Stepping out in faith and trust in God who sees the bigger picture, I can only advise that I have no regrets.

                                                                     

Marian R. Carlino
June 8, 2018

Smart People

Smart Guns,  Evil Geniuses and Speaking Up-  

At some point in  the year 2000 I wrote a letter about smart gun technology to our representatives because it was being discussed in the news.  I did receive responses.   Following (my introduction) is the response I received from Frank Blee and Ken LeFevre dated June 15, 2000.  I wrote other letters about gun safety to my representatives. I stopped writing after I realized that long before I became interested, NJ was ahead of the curve on gun safety laws.  People just found ways around them.  Make one law and someone will break it.  Knives can do damage too.  

 

Smart technology. 

 

The people who break the laws and codes are usually very smart.  In fact, they could be called evil geniuses.  They seem to be able to circumvent the best defenses... well except maybe for the ones who failed because someone spoke up.

http://time.com/5121596/uniontown-high-school-shooting/

An excerpt from the article: 

A Pennsylvania teenager may have saved the lives of some of fellow students at a Uniontown high school after reporting a threat of a possible shooting.

A 14-year-old boy, of Henry Clay Township, Pa., was arrested and found to have a collection of weapons and a plan to target four students at Uniontown Area High School, according to CBS affiliate KDKA. One Uniontown student said they heard the 14-year-old make a threat to carry out a school shooting.

“He indicated it would be extremely easy to sneak a gun into the school in his backpack. He also indicated that he could use a sniper rifle from a distance or a shotgun for mass casualties,” Fayette County District Attorney Richard Bower told KDKA. “He didn’t like them, he just didn’t like them.”

Now for the letter from my representatives.  With so many rants, chants and memes about our representatives not doing their jobs, I have to disagree- of course with respect.  If you post about the lack of concern from our representatives, then you have never contacted one.  In some instances, I even received letters which were personally signed with the first name only.  When you write often on the same topic of  safety, the elected representatives do get to know your name.  I met some in person.  I never felt that they ever tried to  belittle my efforts except for the civics teacher in my former district, but he had something to hide about the school.  When people run for public office, hold them accountable by telling your story as it relates to your needs and the needs of others. Even when I write to the ones with whom I disagree on the topic of abortion, I received responses.  

“Thank you for your recent correspondence in support of “smart gun” technology.  As your Assemblymen, and as parents, we appreciate and share your concern for the protection and well-being of our children. 

You may be pleased to know that in the General Assembly we recently voted for an important piece of legislation that we believe will lead to increased gun safety.  The bill, A-2531, would appropriate $500,000 to the New Jersey Institute of Technology for the continuation of their “Smart Gun Technology Development Program”.  This legislation is sponsored by Assemblyman LeFevre and fully supported by Assemblyman Blee.  The measure, which enjoyed broad bipartisan support was approved by the General Assembly on June 5, 2000 by a vote of 77-0.

Our support for the development of “smart gun” technology is a continuation of our commitment to this issue from the 1998-99 legislative session.  In that session, we supported a four-bill package that we are proud to say is now law:

A 2420 -now Public Law 1999, chapter 253

“The Firearm Accident Prevention Act”- which exempts the sale of firearm trigger locks from sales and use tax.

A2421- now Public law 1999, chapter 254

“The secure Firearm Storage Act”: which exempts the sale of firearm vaults from the sales and use tax.

A 2469- now Public Law 1999, chapter 255

Establishes a $5 instant rebate program for purchased of trigger gun locks.

A2826- now Public Law 1999, chapter 233

Prohibits licensed dealers from transferring handgun purchasers unless accompanied by a trigger lock, lock case, gun box, container or other secure facility.

Again, thank you for your correspondence. Please feel free to contact our office with any further questions or concerns.

Sincerely,

(The letter was signed by both Francis Blee and Kenneth C. LeFevre)

You can search the state statute website and find the law listed:  for example:

54:32B-8.50.  Short title; receipts from sales of firearm trigger locks, tax exempt

   1.  a.  This act shall be known and may be cited as "The Firearm Accident Prevention Act" .

   b.   Receipts from sales of firearm trigger locks and other devices that enable the firearm to be made inoperable by anyone other than an authorized person are exempt from the tax imposed under the "Sales and Use Tax Act" , P.L.1966, c.30 (C.54:32B-1 et seq.).

   L.1999,c.253.

NJ readers may be interested in this statute also:

2C:58-2.2  
Findings, declarations relative to sale of handguns.

The more you read on the topic, the more one will realize there is a pattern to prevention because there is a pattern to the violence.  No new law will prevent the next planner of violence, but a person can.

Be smart.  Learn the warning signs and the "triggers".  Think outside the box.  Unlock the gift of intuition you have been given as a gift.  

Marian R. Carlino

June 7, 2018

Franklin Regional High School

Franklin Regional High School-  April 9, 2014

I was working in a temporary position at my place of employment when I heard the reports coming out about Franklin Regional High School.  The information was from the full- time employees.  One of them was on the phone.  She had a child in the district.  Franklin Regional High School is in a wealthy community a few miles east of Pittsburgh city limits.  So, this breaking news was close to my home here in Pittsburgh. 

A sophomore at the high school went on a stabbing attack.  Alex Hribal, his name has been in print since the beginning, even though he was only 16 at the time.  He slashed and stabbed his way through his school.  Some of the injuries he inflicted on others were life threatening.   The stabbings happened over four years ago now, but the reports are still active because the family secured a lawyer who kept getting trials delayed.

As I have made myself clear about many times, the mental health issues are mitigating circumstances and not excuses.  I think at some point; all violence is due to mental health issues.  No one is truly in their right mind if they maim with intent to kill or actually kill someone.  States of rage, crimes of passion, drug induced killing, the devil made me do it---are all mitigating circumstances.  Someone else is still dead or injured.

Does it mean something when one is featured on Wikipedia? Hribal’s story is.  There are many news reports that tell the initial information.  Little Murrysville became the subject of national headlines because of one, angry, student.  

Google the reports.  This link is one example.

.https://abcnews.go.com/US/teen-school-stabbing-suspect-kitchen-knives-cops/story?id=23253018.


The lawyer talks on ABC national news and says no history of issues
Later reports, say Hribal attempted suicide at the age of 10; history of depression?

The governor calls the people in the school heroes: 
"Following the shooting Wednesday afternoon, Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett drove to Export from Harrisburg for a press conference.

“Let me commend the efforts of not only the school but the law enforcement officers, the first responders, police departments and the FBI. There are a number of heroes. Many are students – students who stayed with their friends and didn’t leave their friends. Cafeteria workers that cared for students who were bleeding. Teachers and aides who pulled students out of hallways and into rooms, protecting those children. Obviously, the school resource officer, the sergeant injured, and the principal and assistant principal,” said Corbett"

Notice that the  article used the word,shooting when it was stabbings--"

In May, 2018 one of the victims filed suit against the family and school.  http://triblive.com/local/westmoreland/13652594-74/franklin-regional-stabbing-victim-sues-attacker-alex-hribal-his-parents-school-and.   

According to this report, it is the only lawsuit filed at this time. 

The news on January 22, 2018 was about Hribal, who was sentenced after years of delays due to his attorneys. 

https://www.wpxi.com/news/top-stories/alex-hribal-sentenced-in-franklin-regional-stabbing/687518070

"Hribal was 16 years old when police said he used two kitchen knives to carry out the attack through the school’s halls. In a manifesto found by investigators, Hribal idolized the Columbine shooters."

I copied a link to my FB page about the issue back in January 2018, and made this comment:

“Finally sentenced. This happened in 2014. They tried to blame it on his mental health. He followed the Columbine effect. I worked with people who got the phone call that day in 2014. I must admit I am glad he is going to jail. This kid had a lawyer. So many do not. Jail is deserved. This is one example of why I will never forget my experience in 1998. It may be. 20 years but attacks happen at schools constantly. One of this kid’s victims needed a liver. Not sorry after all these years for speaking up. Someone should have for this kid before he slashed and stabbed his way through a school hallway.”

I surprisingly received a response through Messenger from a local television host.  He asked:

JAN 22ND, 5:06PM

Hi Marian

My name is Beau Berman

I'm a reporter with WTAE TV

I saw your post about Hribal.

What was your experience 20 years ago?

So, I answered him, briefly, about a week later. ( I don't use Messenger often and I had no idea who he was with the name.)  He hasn’t responded back to me.  I did a bio search of the reporter.   “Berman was one of the first reporters at Sandy Hook Elementary School after the tragedy and also reported from the shoreline as Hurricane Sandy pummeled Connecticut in 2012.” 

http://www.wtae.com/news-team/7799c1fc-1431-46cf-b70a-9aadaaa85e0b.

I hope Beman is reading some of my reports.  My son called me on the day of the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre and asked me if I was sitting down as he told me the news. I lived in my apartment on Shore Road  in SP, NJ and can still remember where I was standing.  I lived in New Jersey as Hurricane Sandy pummeled New Jersey and left two fellow church members homeless (Pleasantville, NJ).

You know that six degrees of separation thing—it is true. 

Hribal's parents reached out to the media after the sentencing to become voices of prevention at about the same time the  media reported that the lawyers were planning an appeal.  So they should start with home, please and thank you.  The parents prevented nothing and can only speak as people suffering consequences of their ignorance and their son's vengeful actions.

Some of their story is now on video.  This one I picked randomly today.  Listen to it.   I do not have a lot of sympathy for these parents at this time.  They are blaming bullying, etc.  Since when is retribution okay?  The parent’s of the “knifer” asked the media to let them speak.  The segments can be found on the web extra pages of the local CBS affiliate.

.http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/video/3805282-web-extra-hribals-parents-discuss-why-theyre-speaking-out/.

The father talks about what a teacher did after Columbine for her class.  Did they not think that there troubled child could be a copycat kid?  Harsh?   Well,  murder and stabbings are harsh.  The truth will help them heal once they come to grips with it.

As many know, one of my friends is a parent of a man who killed three people and is on death row in Pennsylvania where there is no moratorium.    I have empathy for her.  I know her son was an adult when it happened.  I know the struggles she continues to live because of her son’s actions.  It is a cross she bears- different from the victim's families.  It is a cross the parents of Alex Hribal will bear. Their cross is also different than the victim's families.  Neither sets of parents is a voice for prevention.  My friend would readily tell you that.

The Hribal’s, if really concerned about prevention of the next violent attack, would not have been fighting the charges for as long as they did.  They should have had their lawyers have their client take responsibility for his actions from the start.  Instead, they tried to make the real victims the reasons for the “knifing spree”.  Nothing Alex Hribal did was in self- defense.

Due process is guaranteed under our Constitution, lying and making excuses is not.

The sentenced to jail, Alex Hribal, is wearing a necklace Cross in the pictured news story.  Let's hope he relies on the justice of God and the mercy shown when true repentance is in the heart.

For now, the jury is still out for me.  After all these years, what have we learned if we don't realize that repentance and forgiveness work together.  Without true repentance, not just remorse, there is no heavenly forgiveness. 

The Murrysville community was very good to the family.  But a community's reputation is now tainted by a national news story on school violence- 22 stabbed with a knives.

   

http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2018/02/05/alex-hribal-parents-franklin-regional-stabbing/. 

“He was a sweet, quiet child. I didn’t know he was suffering inside,” explained an emotional Tina Hribal, who at times dabbed her eyes with a tissue during the interview. She says she and her husband had no idea how troubled their son was until doctors interviewed him after the attack."

Hribal could be out of jail by the time he is 40 per the answers to questions in the interviews.  They talk about him getting a place to live and a driver's license when he gets out.

The hero resource officer, a police officer, retired.

Marian R. Carlino

June 7, 2018

A Principal's Perspective- You decide. This is no joke

You decide- is this the thinking in 2018?


This is quoted in Assembly Task Force on Adolescent  Violence- 1999.  The report is still timely with the suggestions, format and examples given.  Google search.  You can read it from this link or find it in the search.  The report is in a PDF form and is set up with practical help.

On page 10, this quote is listed as the first of several examples of reported school violence issues.

Can you find what is wrong with the picture that the principal paints?

“A seventh grade boy, 13 years old, was suspended from school last June for about 10 days for compiling a hit list of 18 students and three teachers entitled,  “People to Get and Kill”.   I personally questioned this student regarding what he meant by people to get and kill.  I was convinced at the time, and continue to be convinced that he intended no harm.”  Harvey Altman Principal of Memorial Junior School Hanover Township

On the same list is this example:


"In North Brunswick, an 8 year old boy was arrested for stabbing a 7 year old girl."

Do you think Cruz  (Parkland, Florida) would have been passed off as "intending no harm."

You may be asked to answer these questions one day about intended harm.

Do you know that many adjunct professors  in our colleges and universities are full time Superintendents and Principals?  What are they teaching the future?

Marian R. Carlino
June 6, 2018

State Statutes- revisited 1998. Links for the current websites. Boring? Until you need them?

Update: Secret Service has a plan.  All should pay attention. The violent will.

State Statutes-

During my years of teaching, I often attended workshops.  Some were good and some were pointless.  The #MeToo middle school principal used to run “workshops” on the equal opportunity laws.  If you are a teacher, you can relate to the “I am calling you here because of….  then “sign here” that you attended.  Done in less than five minutes. 

There is much we have to learn as teachers.  Sometimes before we take the time to read and learn the old- fashioned way, life intervenes with reality.

Teachers are not lawyers, and like everyone else who isn’t, we have to trust in the ones who are not only writing the laws but interpreting them as well.  Educational law is complex but not so complex that it can’t be followed.  Individual interests complicate matters.  When people want their own way, they can make it difficult for others.

As an NJEA member we were given information on “WHAT EVERY SCHOOL EMPLOYEE SHOULD KNOW- about NEW JERSEY SCHOOL LAW.  The capital lettering is their use of the shift key.

Northfield Public Schools and NJEA did not follow the laws on the books about liability in my case.

About your liability:

A school board is required to “save harmless” from financial loss, teachers involved in a negligence suit and provider legal counsel as long as the teacher was acting in the discharge of his duties.  18A:16-6 School employees and student teachers, facing any civil action arising out the performance of duty-not just damage suits- are also protected.  The Board must defray the costs of defense or appeals.

Northfield was negligent in helping me in 1998.  They offered no defense and acted as the aggressor towards me... which is why I won the case in the appeal level of the court of unemployment.  I had lawyers there-- listening, writing and taping- paid by the State of NJ.  No one was sent from the school district who could counter my testimony.  The best they did was send a secretary who was not employed in Northfield at the time I was there. The Department of Labor representative asked me on the last appeal if I had anything to add from the previous one.  I didn't.  I had said and documented it all.  He told me, "Mrs. Carlino, it is not the quantity but the quality of the information that counts."  I had quality.  Ross, (my now ex-husband) accompanied me to the hearings and was able to sit as a support.  

Teachers are held legally and contractually responsible for maintaining discipline in a classroom.  Students are held responsible to observing the rules and regulations of the classroom rules, district policies and state laws.

About pupil behavior:

Physical force- corporal punishment – cannot be used as a means of discipling or punishing pupils.  18A6-1.  As long as a teacher is acting within the scope of his employment, it may be found that a reasonable amount of force is necessary 1. to quell a disturbance 2. to obtain possessions of weapons or other dangerous objects. 3 for the purpose of self- defense and 4. For the protection of persons or property.  18A:6-1.

Although the rumors at the time spanned “she hit him” to the “violation of confidentiality”- "she should not have used initials"  ( read newspaper reports of juveniles-  initial that), none of the rumors, some perpetrated by other teachers, were true. I wrote a legal workshop request and legally distributed it to those I knew needed to be directly involved since they were also responsible for his educational success, IEP and grades, as well as safety of the other students in his presence while they were teaching.

Some students have individual educational plans.  All teachers who work with the child needs to know and has the legal right to know the plan.  Northfield did not get that right with the special teachers nor with many classroom teachers.  Parents usually complain about not being kept informed by the CST.  Teachers often have the same complaints.  Also, the tests are necessary but the CST members work in one to one settings with the troubled children.  They have to rely on the teachers or staff members reports for behaviors in group settings.  

Most children with individual educational plans are held responsible to follow the same rules as the other children.  At this point in time and in the past, if a child can not be held responsible for following the same rules, then the regular class is not the least restrictive environment for them.  The child I worked with was not exempt from following classroom rules, district policy or state laws.

18A: 37-1 Submission of pupils to authority

Pupils in the public schools shall comply with the rules established in pursuance of law for the government of such schools, purse the prescribed course of study and submit to the authority of the teachers and others in authority over them.

Any pupil who is guilty of continued and willful disobedience or of open defiance of the authority of any teacher or person having authority over him, or of the habitual use of profanity or of obscene language, or who shall cut, deface or otherwise injure any school property, shall be liable to punishment and suspension or expulsion from school.

(The law goes into detail with examples.)

18A:37-2.1 Suspension, expulsion of pupil for assault, appeal; report

Any pupil who commits and assault, as defined pursuant to N.J.S.2C:12-1, upon a teacher, administrator, board member or other employee of a board of education, acting in performance of his duties and in a situation where his authority to act so is apparent, or as a result of the victim’s relationship to an institution of public education of this State, not involving the use of a weapon or firearm, shall be immediately suspended from school consistent with the procedural due process pending suspension or expulsion proceedings before the local board of education.

(There is additional information but the following is one many teachers or administrators may fail to realize is also the law…no matter if you don’t want to get someone in trouble.)

Any person who fails to file a report of an alleged assault as required pursuant to this subsection may be liable to disciplinary action by the board of education of the district.

New Jersey State Statutes

Pennsylvania government web page 

This is the one that the #MeToo middle school principal and the civics teacher (local politician) failed to follow:

 "You have the right to have a representative of your own choosing present at interviews which have been called by the board or a board committee at which your status of employment may be in jeopardy. "

What I failed to comprehend is that it also included – you have the right to have witnesses.  I did not bring anyone other than the Uniserve Officer with me to the closed- door meeting.  That was my mistake and his incompetence in representing me. 

I caution teachers to know their rights and responsibilities when I talk to them.   In New Jersey, the Public School Safety Law became effective on October 28, 1982. 

Do you think the administration had the best interest of a troubled child in mind?  Were they protecting the other 24 children in the class or the other staff and children in the school by going after me?

Do you think anyone in Parkland, Florida.. who spoke up--- "went to the mattresses" for Cruz (not Tom) or the other students, staff or community members directly in his path--- before February 14, 2018?   Do you think there are existing laws to deal with the Cruz's (not  Tom) who are out there planning the next massacre?

Marian R. Carlino

June 6, 2018

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow and legislation

June 5, 2018-- Yesterday, today and tomorrow on the Today Show with Savannah Guthrie, the armed resource officer at the high school in Parkland, Florida is telling his side of the story.   He did say he actually was the one who issued the notice to Cruz (not Tom) about the book bag.  Do you remember one of the early reports in which a teacher talked about an email they had received about Cruz and his book bag in another school year?   He knew about Cruz and so did so many others as had been admitted.  But because of lawsuits, teachers "dummy up".  

In 1998, The Current told me I was yesterday's news--- then they got to know me.  The newspapers published me because I knew then, and I know now, of which I write and pray.  Read through this editorial about statutes and the state law in NJ since 1982.  When did I write this editorial?  The date is at the bottom.

So when the Parkland, Florida students come your way-- send them home.  They need to take care of their own community... and we need to take care of ours.  I still advocate in Pittsburgh- on the street - connecting dots to violence prevention from conception.  This article below is not about abortion in case one won't read because abortion is acceptable to your way of thinking.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Yesterday, I read in the paper of an alleged charge against a champion wrestler from a local high school against a fellow teammate.  Today I read that Savannah, Georgia is mourning the shooting death of a high school student by another high school student.  Will it be your school tomorrow?

As a former public-school teacher and parent, I have studied the issue of school violence very intensely during the last two years.  Some statistics indicate that the level of violence at schools is dropping.  If it is decreasing then the job assigned to us to be decent human beings is getting accomplished.  However, the drop in statistics could be that our idea of violence is so skewed that behavior that was once thought to be inappropriate, is now acceptable.  As a result, we are seeing extreme level of violence playing out in our schools on a regular basis.

Since 1982, the permanent statutes of New Jersey have included a law, which mandates reporting of violent acts in schools.  It also mandates the protection of school district employees who report acts of violence.  In response to the most recent, publicized acts of school violence, the New Jersey State Senate has introduced several resolutions that we as a public need to know about- and urge our representatives to endorse.  The following are summaries of those resolutions:

State Senate Resolution No. 48- urges Department of Education (DOE) to revise procedures used to monitor violent crimes and incidents in schools.

State Senate Resolution No. 391- designates a week in October as “School Violence Awareness Week”

(Through the National School Safety Center, a week of such awareness is recognized already in other states.)

State Senate Resolution No. 816- supplement to chapter 35 of Title 18A makes an appropriation to the Violence Institute of New Jersey to offer violence prevention in the schools.  This bill requires each board of education to offer instruction in the prevention of violence.

State Senate Resolution No. 942- appropriates funds for establishing a county- based safe schools and communities’ violence and response plan.  Under the plan, each county Superintendent would employ a violence prevention specialist.

State Senate Resolution No. 1003- establishes subcommittees of local emergency councils to develop response action plans.

In addition, the legislation which is designed to open up public records, should help in the reporting of violent incidences in our schools.

As we already know, we can not legislate morality.  That is a personal decision.  However, we must do whatever we can to stem the tide of violence, which is destroying our public schools- one school right after the other.  Our public-school employees are legally bound to report acts of violence.  These resolutions should strengthen the law and open the lines of communication.  It is also our responsibility as parents and community members to do whatever we can to protect the integrity of our educational system and the lives of the people in and around our schools.

Marian R.  Carlino

March 12, 2000

OTHER VOICES- MAY 25, 1999

The term "gadfly" refers to "an annoying person, especially one who provokes others into action by criticism." I have found out through the years that there are others out there... gadflies, whistle-blowers, editorial writers, messengers... the tenants tend to mistreat the them all.. It is really biblical talk! I don't know what happened to this teacher. If in 1999, she had been teaching 30 years, she has since long retired. Do you think some of the teachers in Parkland, Florida should read this editorial. Other voices... another time... ignored in this time....

published editorial - just about one month after Columbine High School and the announcement on national television that the shooters had no history of behavior issues- by  of all people, the principal.

As those who write, getting help for students does not mean you sympathize with their actions. Sympathy leads to inaction. Empathy- leads to action. Is the paycheck of ignorance really worth it?


The Press of Atlantic City- May 25. 1999

by Shelly Wentz


Having taught school in the Atlantic City school system for 30 years, I would like to share my thoughts on the violence at Columbine High School in Colorado. As an art teacher, I was able to work with the same children from kindergarten through sixth grade. I was able to track intellectual and emotional growth of an individual child from a long range perspective.

The teachers in Colorado knew who these students were long before the violence occurred.. All teachers, in schools everywhere. know who these children are. These children just don't appear magically in high school without warning. They have been there all along, sending out messages of pain and loneliness. They have been ticking time bombs for the past 10 years.

They cried out for help but the only ones hearing them were their teachers. But who was listening to the teachers? Not those who are paid the big bucks to administer the system and not those elected to make the system better.

The principals blame the school boards for lack of funding for these disturbed kids. and the board claims they aren't notified of the problems. But who has to put up with it on a day to day basis? It is the teachers and the rest of the class.

The teachers refer to the students to the child study team year after year, where they wait on the list for evaluation. The parents are in denial when you tell them their child stabbed another student in the arm with a pair of scissors because he wouldn't let him use the orange crayon or the disturbed child has been taught at home to fight back in a physical way. When you look the child in the eyes and ask him why he stabbed his fellow student, he stares back and swears it wasn't him even when you have 20 students who saw the incident take place.

This isn't the regular bad kid in the class. We know them too. This is that outer fringe. The kind of child you only see once in a couple of years. This is the kid that told me that he threw his kittens into the bay to see if they could swim.

If you are a teacher or are on staff at an elementary school, you know who these kids are. They all have abusive or neglectful parents, brought up on violence, steeped in hatred, parents on drugs or worse- it makes no difference if you are in Colorado or in Atlantic City.

Those are the kids who scare us. We fear being in a room alone with them. Teachers, you know them. We warn years in advance of horror that results in ignoring these kids. But no one acts on our alarm. We knew them in kindergarten, in third grade, and we know them throughout their entire school careers. All the students know them too.

It's time to heed what teachers have been telling us about our children. We need to isolate the problems and spend whatever funds it takes to get these kids help in their earliest years, or remove them from the public school systems. We must do it for every one's sake.

Shelly Wentz
Atlantic City
May 25, 1999

AND WHAT WE HAVE FAILED TO DO.....

In order to prevent the next massacre, you have to know a little of history-  the killers do.

AN ATTACK PLANNED FOR 2021.. SOMEONE SPOKE UP
Killers using all sorts of weapons, plan their attacks over time. Someone usually get a piece of the puzzle.  In the link above, a young person did speak up.  The student was planning an attack for 2021.  The students are studying the past massacres.


As we enter the end of this school year, 2018, people will look back on this year as a very violent one in our schools.  Rare is no longer a word that most would use to describe the shootings or threats of violence to our schools.  Was there ever a time that threats of violence were rare?

I went to school in the late 60's and early 70's.  I know what a riot in a junior high and high school is like.  I know what blood on the face of a friend looks like.  We were not considered victims then. We were kids going to school during the turbulent civil rights era.  People are still fighting for civil rights because positive change has to take place in the heart first, before positive change can be felt in a community.  New laws offer consequences for breaking the code.  New laws do not offer real change.
                                                     

Human trafficking, the modern term for selling slaves, is still part of the problem.  Was human cruelty ever rare?

There was a time when the massacres were rare in our schools.  They are no longer rare.  As we have seen in the last 20 years, the violence impacts every aspect of society when a violent attack happens in our schools. Even though we are a nation that has legalized abortion, fortunately people still react when children are killed.... or do we?

I wish the residents in Parkland, Florida had been more educated on what has been studied in the past about at least two of the best known school shootings.  Pages after pages have been written.  I have written on this blog before about the Guide to Safe Schools.  That report was mandated by President Bill Clinton after the 1997-98 school year.  I wonder if any of my teacher friends or those involved in any educational setting have read any parts of it,  in 2018.  I know many who knew nothing about the report in the years  immediately following its publication.  Columbine may never have happened if it had been distributed and read as the experts had planned.

                                               

The school in Sante Fe,Texas recently has been awarded a grant because of the recent massacre at their school.  But will they learn?  To me, they are being rewarded for failure.

I do thank the victims who file lawsuits and ASK questions.  But they are not the experts in prevention.  Their schools are on a lengthy list of failures to protect the students  ( broken laws which have long existed to hold people accountable - ignored).


We hear from the victims and the family survivors.  We hear so much from experts.  But do we listen?  If you are interested in protecting your  school or community, pay attention to the reports that have come out to help explain the events of the past.  Yesterday's news becomes tomorrow's headlines when we choose to pretend our families, schools, workplaces and communities are immune to disaster.

OFFICE OF THE CHILD ADVOCATE STATE OF CONNECTICUT

PAGE 107:

It is fair to surmise that, had AL’s mental illness been adequately treated in the last years of his life, one predisposing factor to the tragedy of Sandy Hook might have been mitigated. Although parents and other legal guardians ultimately are responsible for their children's health and safety, it is the educational and professional systems that must provide a safety net in instances where parents cannot or do not care successfully for a child. This report in no way blames parents, educators or mental health professionals for AL’s heinous acts, nor for his severe mental deterioration and extreme detachment from relationships with human beings, but authors point to the need for renewed vigilance by the child-serving professionals and systems to identify and ensure sufficient, effective services for the potentially tens of thousands of other children who slip between the cracks every year as a result of these types of problems. AL’s story highlights the need to address the profound gaps in our continuum of services for children with developmental and mental health needs, and further develop our capacity to provide carefully individualized, timely, and sustained assistance not only to children and young adults but also to their families, instead of waiting until severe crises or developmental failures (school drop-out, unemployment, divorce, homelessness, or delinquency) necessitate costly emergency services, the break-up of families, or the removal of children or adults from their families or society—as well as rarer mass tragedies. It is also imperative that states and communities develop practices and policies that facilitate ready exchange of information from one system to another. All service agencies that intersect with children: schools, pediatricians, and mental health providers have responsibilities to support children’s health and well-being, and we cannot continue to compartmentalize children’s “mental health” into a singular program or service that may always be someone else’s or some other entity’s responsibility. Holding systems accountable will require attention to appropriate resource allocation and utilization, including strengthening community mental health resources and the ability to flexibly import those services into home, schools, and other natural settings. But accountability will also require that we ably assess the quality of our service delivery, be it pediatric medical care, mental health evaluation, treatment, and special education services. While the authors’ focus has been on AL’s psychological deterioration, we reiterate that this should not be taken to mean that we do not recognize the ubiquitous role that guns, and especially assault weapons with high capacity magazines, play in mass murder. In fact, while mental illness plays only a small role in violence in America, assault weapons are an increasingly common denominator in violent crimes. The widespread access to assault weapons and high capacity ammunition is an urgent public health concern. Finally, none of the findings in this report should be interpreted as exculpating or reducing AL’s accountability for his actions. Roughly twenty percent of adolescents and young adults suffer from a variety of mental illnesses. 124 Many of these are complex (with multiple diagnoses), treatment resistant, and accompanied by a multiplicity of severe and confounding psychosocial problems. And yet, only an infinitesimally small number of such individuals go on to commit murder. While we describe the predisposing factors and compounding stresses in AL’s life, we do not conclude that they add up to an inevitable arc leading to mass murder. There is no way to adequately explain why AL was obsessed with mass shootings and how or why he came to act on this obsession. In the end, only he, and he alone, bears responsibility for this monstrous act."


THE COLUMBINE REPORT- AT THE COLUMBINE SITE. 

Read through some of the thousands and thousands of pages of reports.   The principal on the night of April 20, 1999 stated on national television that there was no history of issues with the two students who committed the well planned massacre.  He was lying. 

ERIC HARRISON'S TERMINATION REPORT OF JUVENILE DIVERSION

DYLAN KLEBOLD'S JUVENILE DIVERSION PROGRAM- EXAMPLE OF DOCUMENT

SOMEONE WHO SPOKE UP


"There were many warning signs that something wasn't right in Dylan and Eric's world; several people saw those signs and yet nothing prevented the bloody events of 4-20-1999. Perhaps it was too easy for most people to dismiss what they saw. After all it was the boys' last year of school and they were smart guys. They were two weeks away from graduation, even. Surely if they were going to make mischief, they wouldn't wait till they were at the brink of freedom from the school they hated so much to do something to it. Right? Wrong. For whatever reason, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold decided it was more important to blow up their school and broadcast their rage-fueled message than it was to migrate to the next phase of life."


Information on the Parkland shooter comes out weekly.  It is surprising that anyone in any type of administrative position is still holding a job there.

For what we have failed to do.....................Father forgive us.


Marian R. Carlino
June 2, 2018