Inalienable rights should be the law for all

Stopping School Violence One Teacher's Silent Scream

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Staying married greatest savings, reader suggests

I won a mug.. but it hadn't come in the mail. On Christmas morning, I opened a present.  My kids wrapped the mug for me!

In addition to writing editorials on abortion and school violence prevention, I sometimes responded to their questions.

The following one was a 25 words or less contest.


The question:  Where's a good place to cut in a typical household budget?

Per the lead in;  "Marian Carlino offered a surprising suggestion, that, if followed, would help some people avoid a potentially crushing financial calamity.  And all that is needed is a bit of self-control.  She wins this week's coveted 25 Words or Less Cup.

The divorce rate is 50 percent.  Two households, paramours and lawyers are expensive. If you're in an adulterous relationship end it.  Intact families cost less.

Marian  R Carlino
December  7, 2008



Slain teacher may have saved LaSane - and the naive statements by her coworkers

This particular editorial is about a murdered teacher in NJ.  She was abducted so she was not killed at her school.  The statement by her co-worker is troubling.  It is a systemic problem-  today, yesterday and tomorrow.  Statement is in red. 

PLEASE, SNITCH ON THE MURDERER.  PLEASE REPORT ON THOSE PLANNING A MASSACRE.

Published March 28, 2007

It may have been just another "ordinary murder" except for the fact that a teacher, admired by her family, friends and colleagues had the presence of mind to record the events leading up to her death.

Therefore, in death, she probably reached more people than she would have in a lifetime of classroom teaching.  And although the young man did not listen to her pleas for sparing her life, she did save his life.  Her words, recorded, led to her murderer's apprehension.  Without being captured, one can only imagine where he may have ended up had he not been stopped.

Who knows how many more people he may have killed, or if he would have been killed himself.  He is in prison, but there are worse places than that to spend one's life  He is still a young man who may never see freedom again, but he can change his heart, something Kathleen Weinstein tried to convince him to do.

Mrs. Weinstein's colleagues can learn something from her last words and actions also.  The fact that Mrs. Weinstein recorded the conversation indicates she wanted someone to hear it.  One of her former colleagues stated in the Press article "and I believe that she wouldn't have told on him. She would have probably tried to help him. She was the kind of person that when she gave her word she meant it."

No one can help another human being by hiding the crime committed.  Mrs. Weinstein would have told. Her recording proves that.  And in that recording is also proof of her commitment to being kind.  
For there is nothing kind about letting people get away with murder.  We can all learn a lesson from Mrs. Weinstein.  

Marian R. Carlino
March 28, 2007

Judas had second thoughts too


When an editorial is submitted to a newspaper, the editors read it.  Someone makes a decision after reading it, to publish or toss it.  Through the years while living in NJ, I had many editorials published.
Some were edited, some were not.  It didn't take too long, considering all the information I gave to the press, for the local and regional newspaper editors to take me seriously.  I was good for the newspaper.  At times, as in my previous blog post, people reacted.  Scott of the previous comment in my blog post on drawings used to write editorials too. I also made sense.

People used to ask me to write for them which is something I would not do.  If it was laid on the heart of someone to do something, they should do it.  I used to say if it doesn't get published, at least one person has read it.  So go ahead and write. 
 

As of my workshop series last year, I am on a stay-cation this week.  I am taking this opportunity to blog previous editorials.  It seems everything I said in the past is current today.  Sadly, after 21 years of dealing with school shootings, the bullshit is always the same.  Today's USA Today has an article about the Sante Fe school district.  Do you remember that school shooting?  Google USA today and see what the issue is. A substitute teacher died last May (2018).  The dead woman's husband is still waiting for answers per the USA Today article..

The Current labeled this editorial "When a teacher dies in the line of duty"  I updated my blog post to the title that is listed.  Read the editorial and you will learn why.

Netflix has a documentary on "When children kill."  The  black student from Florida listed in the editorial is one of the subjects. He is an adult now serving his time.   The hostage taker listed is a subject in another blog post. I also watched one on Newtown.  Still many unanswered questions with that one too. 

To the editor:  (published May 5, 2001)

When a fireman or policeman dies in the line of duty, representatives from around the country take time out to honor their brothers and sisters.
The members of the organizations know what it takes to go to work on a daily basis, always facing the possibility of tragedy.  Therefore, they show their respects to the family and communities by sending members of their ranks to the services for their fallen comrades.
This does not happen when a teacher dies.  The ranks don't come together to honor the dead, but instead they do public relations work to convince the public it can't happen in their own schools, even though they know differently.  
A trial of a young man, an honor student, started in Florida last week.  He killed his teacher last May (2000), at point blank range. His lawyers are arguing his intentions were not to kill.
While this young man awaits the determination of his fate, another honor student sits in a jail cell in the state of Washington, writing apologies for taking his class and teacher hostage on April 10, 2001. He used a loaded hunting rifle but didn't pull the trigger.  He says that he didn't intend to harm anyone either.  

Two thousand years ago, another teacher was led to death by a "pupil".  The teacher's name was Jesus- the student's name was Judas. Judas had second thoughts too, but he committed suicide before his lawyers could argue his intent.

Marian R.  Carlino
published May 5, 2001  

On the day that Columbine happened I was still dealing with legal issues with NJEA and NEA.  They took my calls.  I chastised them for never showing up at the nationally televised prayer service with dignitaries and politicians.  The President of NEA rode with VP Al Gore to Littleton- after I made my phone call.
I have a different take on prayer services now.  I think they romanticize the shootings but prayer is important.  Sadly, as the one here in Pittsburgh after the Tree of Life shooting,  politics and prayer become intermingled.  Politicians should stay away.  The voices of the rabbi's at the prayer service were the ones worth listening to.  Politicians were politicking. (But I digress.)

Marian R. Carlino
June 6, 2019

SHOCKER- NOT EVERYONE LIKES MY OPINIONS!


Two days after a school resource officer from Parkland, Florida goes to jail for doing nothing during an active massacre -(pulled off by a student with a troubled past), do you still want school districts to give a pass of "That's ok, honey"?  School districts (of whom I am very critical for not acting ahead of the massacres) don't have too many options other than suspensions for consequences.  Obviously help is needed also, but first discipline.

Do you use time out for your children when they have done something wrong?

Maybe one day, the offending child will become a writer like Stephen King or become a movie director/producer of macabra movie fame. Maybe one day the child will write the greatest love story ever told.  But for dealing with the present behavior, the threatening picture had to be addressed.  

What if you were the parent of David?



The mother of the "artist" child let The Press know…the school district did not go to the Press.  

Just like the mother of the boy with whom I worked (violent behavior, violent drawings), the parent of a troubled child took to the public to voice concerns.  The mother of my student went to a bar and shared my workshop request.  How do I know?  Other parents told me.  They were some of the parents who wrote their own letters of concern so many years ago.

Since the mother of a child in Dennis Township, NJ went public, some of us responded.  Here is my response.  And below it is a response with another point of view to my opinion. 

School’s concern was well founded—
Regarding the October 20 story- “Stick figure sketch lands boy, 7, on school suspension”: The stick figure drawing was published.

I still have the stick figure drawings and story line written by the child in my class along with his two friends. I gave the pictures to the school psychologist to let her know.  As you know from previous posts how our relationship played out. Her concern did not include the impact on my class of 25 children- only on the one.  I had to address the safety of all the children and staff who came into my class.  Did the school district below have the greater good in mind.  I think so.


Editorial:  
The drawing shows very clearly that one named person is at the receiving end of another person with a gun.  I would like to congratulate the child who did the right thing regarding school safety. According to the article, the child who was given this picture on the school bus gave it to his parents, who then contacted the school.  The Dennis Township school district then took action, based on a policy set in place because of the extremes in school violence nationwide.
Every child and adult in every school has the right to be safe.  When anyone, child or adult, violates the right to be safe, action may and should be taken.  In this case, a picture is worth a thousand words.  If a person stated that I am going to kill you, even without a weapon, only a foolish person would not take action.
Some may disagree with the type or amount of consequences given for a poor choice, but consequences do occur naturally and logically.  Now the school district should find out why the incident occurred.  The mother (of the offending child), who chose to go public with her complaints, should be grateful for the concern shown and should work with the school to solve the problem.
Marian R. Carlino
October 10, 2007

The stick figure had a boy’s name David with another stick figure, named  "Me" holding a gun at the back of the David stick figure. 


This is a response from a reader online: (spelling errors of the response are not corrected)

No, Marian Carlino is an idiot who writes to the papers frequently and spouts off nonsense.  She doesn’t understand that a 7 year old doesn’t possess the cognitive skills or thought processes to sit and form intent that was alleged by the stupendously stupid school district.  The only danger here was the risk of a paper cut.  This was a typical knee-jerk reaction by a bunch of morons who biggest concern is to wrap up a days work in time to get home and watch Mork and Mindy reruns on TV Land.
I hope this child’s mother sues the pants off the school district and wins millions.  Maybe then voters will think twice before electing morons to the school board who make stupid policies and actually elect a few people with intelligence.  What was needed here was a careful, measured response.  Would it have killed the principal to talk to the child and parent?  Maybe do a little education, you know, like schools are supposed to do.  Posted by Scott on Sat Oct 27, 2007 2:19 pm

Two other editorials thought the school district over reacted.  This is one.  Both writers assumed a suspension was done before talking to the parents.
Let’s lighten up on boy’s sketch
How complicated was the behavior of the second-grader who was suspended for a day because his art work included a stick figure hold a weapon pointed at another stick figure? 
Did he know about the zero tolerance policy? Was he crying for help? Or was he concerned about the president’s veto of the State Children’s Health Insurance Program? 
He’s 7 years old, for God’s sake.
Anthony Notturno
Villas


This is a close example of the one shown in the newspaper..   the picture from years ago was more descriptive in the direction of the gun.

PER THE WEBSITE FOR THIS ONE, A SECOND GRADER WAS SUSPENDED AFTER DRAWING THIS.

The second grade child with whom I worked, stood up in an assembly (the only one to make the choice) when the narrator reading Casey at Bat, and pointed his hand at the mascot from a now defunct professional baseball team.  The cue-  "kill the umpire" It was after I wrote my workshop request.  The child was suspended but after he came back to school, I was the one dismissed.   (see other posts about that incident)




December 21, 2002

If you have ever read any of my FB posts, you do know that I have opinions and beliefs related to politics too.  In 2002, if you can imagine, a politician got in trouble for past statements.  The Courier Post  published my editorial with several other opinions.  All of the opinions were published before he stepped down.  I am not a huge fan of politicians stepping down.. even when I dislike them.  They were elected.

We can not continue to make people out to be racist.  I would hate all people of color if I took all their comments to heart.  Bus rides are eye opening to see how people react from all walks and colors of life.  After growing up in Plainfield, NJ- suffering riots, being targeted for being white, and my mother and sister both being assaulted - well I could have a much different view.  But, I don't judge people by their color, religion, nationality.  I do judge people by their actions.  Frankly, though, I have not excluded them from my life in general.  I do however have my boundaries but not being ignorant, I do believe all people need to be treated with respect.  And sometimes, that means reconciling with others who have done me harm. Others can just stay away.  I can love but I don't need to like.  Jesus- 101.

I met a very well educated black (a lawyer)  man a few years ago.  He was offended I described the turmoil in my town as riots.  He used a euphemism. I told him I grew up in Plainfield, NJ. I will continue to use the word- riots.  He was surprised to hear this white woman's take on growing up.  He wrongly assumed I did not suffer.  He wrongly assumed I was a privileged white woman.  He respects me when he sees me.  There is no Race and Reconciliation without honesty.

December 21, 2002 published in the Courier Post  the opinion page titled "What's Lott's Lesson?

( the politician, not the one who escaped Sodom and Gomorrah)

My editorial is titled Struggle-- the newspaper headline writings chose the title:

In the story, A Christmas Carol, Marley comes back from the dead to warn Scrooge that he should change his ways or risk facing the same shackled existence Marley does.  The ghosts of our nation's past appeared to Sen. Trent Lott.  Change comes only after a certain amount of struggle. I guess it's been Lott's turn to struggle.  He should thank God the struggle came before his 100th birthday.

I grew up in Plainfield during the 1950's and 1960's.  It was a very tense time.  I remember my parents talking about block busting by real estate agents to scare people into moving. When the first inter-racial family moved onto our block as our immediate neighbors, others weren't happy. People wouldn't walk on our sidewalks in front of our homes because we (our families) were friends. The neighbor on one side of us yelled at me for bringing a non-white (black) friend into our yard. (My mom was not happy with that neighbor.) A car was firebombed in front of our neighbor's house.  The race riots didn't make anyone happy- on either side.  Another neighbor's friend was a policeman ( actually a nephew) who was beaten to death in one of the riots- (with a shopping cart and a mob). Busing for desegregation wasn't a panacea for resolution of conflict; race riots broke out at my high school for several years.  I graduated in 1972 from Plainfield High.  My parents retired from that house in late 1970's.

They taught me to hate the violence, but not to hate people.

Marian R. Carlino
published December 21, 2002



What is your struggle?