In 1998, the principal with whom I worked in Northfield, NJ -Northfield Community School accused me of having no hope for the troubled child's future. I thought she was wrong then and the years have taught me that she not only was wrong then, but she was actually the one with no hope for the child's future. Was she afraid that if we could all get on the same page with this troubled child, that we could all be made aware of the other troubled children in the school?
Each time the news breaks about a school shooting, I can not help but to think of my experience in 1998. I was as they say, ahead of a dangerous curve. I took heat for a good decision... a decision I will never regret. I write to encourage others to take a stand. There may actually be someone to whom you can give hope to the future.
Cruz, the shooter at the Parkland, Florida high school was adopted. Both of his adopted parents died. What would the mother have to say about her son should she have been alive on February 14, 2018?
The mother of Dylan Kleibold wrote a book a few years after the massacre at Columbine High School. The same publisher who told me "no one wants to hear the trials and tribulations of a teacher" in response to a book idea I sent him, later wrote the forward to Mrs. Kleibold's book.
The people who speak from the families of the students at Columbine and Parkland speak from a victim standpoint. It helps them come to grips with what happened in their own neighborhood. Did the culture at Columbine contribute to the massacre? Did the culture at Parkland, Florida contribute to the massacre there? If a culture of denial and ignorance is factored in, then the answer is yes. The culture at the two schools contributed to the massacres. The killers were suicidal and no one knew despite violence outbursts factored with depression, arrests (felonies), videos and even self reporting to the police, by Cruz, himself to authorities.
The principals at both schools had their heads stuck in the sand. They did not know the school. They did not know the students who committed the murders. The parents did not know their own children nor of what they would become capable.
Mrs. Kleibold is not an expert on prevention, but she does have a story to tell.
Listen to Mrs. Kleibold… from her perspective.
Dylan Kleibold's mother speaks
Sue Klebold Recalls What Her Son Dylan Was Like at Home: Part 2
The principal with whom I worked had no hope for the child in my class. Lucky for him, I did.
Can the principal with whom I worked look back proudly at her actions today in 2018? She sat proudly and smugly in the public seats hearing the punishment I received as the teacher who protected students? Do the principals at Columbine and the school in Parkland look back knowing they did not do everything they could have done to prevent the massacre?
What about the parents? Do the parents of the child with whom I worked ever think- without hope offered by my son's second grade teacher, that their child could be just another statistic?
We can't change the mistakes of the past, but we can offer hope for the future by learning from the mistakes of the past. In this world, we tend to listen to those who really got it wrong.
As educators and parents we often get it wrong. Sometimes getting it wrong is deadly.
Offer hope for a child's future before it is time to remember the dead.
Related to the post about Nickel Mines School shooting and the mother of the shooter there, she says at the end of this short video " I want everyone to know there is hope for a future. There is a tomorrow. The way we approach that tomorrow depends on the choices we make today."
She took a fetal position---
https://bible.org/article/hope
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2014/05/26/what-is-the-biblical-or-christian-definition-of-hope/
Marian R. Carlino
August 10, 2018
