Controlling the trigger- water pistols, cap guns and the real thing

Originally written circa 2001-2002; edited for publication in The Current circa 2005 Updated December 2012 (bold print)  and July 2012 (italics).
(People will start advocating for stricter gun laws after the school massacre on December 14, 2012-  Please put energy towards prevention by observing common warning signs, listening to the gift of intuition, and acting instead of thinking  "it can't happen here."  Win hearts and souls so we don't have to continue to wrestle with the massacres we experience now on a regular basis.)

The two guns were pointed at the car as I drove along a tree lined street in a white middle class community. As though in slow motion, I watched as the triggers were pulled and I heard the ammunition pop. No target was hit, this time. The weapons of choice were two fully loaded cap guns held tightly in the tiny hands of two boys about six years old. The children were sitting on their front porch, seemingly prepared to "take down" every car that passed by.

As I drove past, I was reminded of my own youth. Even as a young girl, I had a toy gun. Much to my mother's chagrin, my sisters and I received plastic rifles. We were granted permission to play with them, but with strict instructions to never aim the guns at anyone. We didn't have cap guns, but we had caps. I can still smell the gun powder and here the popping sounds as we hit the little red dots of ammo with rocks to ignite a spark.


With that thought, I turned the car around at the next street and drove back to the house of the young 'snipers'. They didn't seem alarmed when I approached to knock on the frond door of the house. The woman who answered to the knock pleasantly did not take offense when I talked to her about my concerns. As I left, I saw her motion to the boys to go into the backyard.

Stopping at a self-service gas station on an interstate, my husband pumped gas as the rest of us took a bathroom break. While waiting our turn in the well stocked convenience mart, I purchased a copy of
USA Today, whose lead story was about the survivors of the Columbine High School massacre (1999), specifically the students who had survived gunshot wounds. My son, who was nine at the time and his hockey teammate immediately took a fancy to a small display of water pistols. As they aimed and shot at each other, they discovered, much to their delight, that the toy guns were indeed loaded with water. After using each other for a brief target practice, the sights were turned on me. Don't point them at anyone, and put them down were my mother's words I could hear coming out of my mouth. No toy gun purchase either.

Seeing the tears in my fourth grade teacher's eyes, I knew something was terribly wrong. After being ushered to the auditorium, the adults seemed to be in a huddle. From serious looks on faces, they must have been discussing a matter of grave importance. Within a few minutes, the principal of my elementary school walked sternly to the microphone and announced in a deep voice, that our President Kennedy had been killed by a gunman that morning. Eighteen years later, in 1981, I saw the same look on another principal's face as he came into my classroom to get the television. He told me that President Reagan had been shot.

"Who shot J.R.?' was the national talk in 1980. "Who shot Mrs. Carlino?' was the talk in the classroom after a young student took aim at me with the "gun" from the now ancient Pong game. It seemed funny in 1980 and was innocent then.

Filled to the rim with arms flailing and legs kicking, the pool soon became a spraying field. With water bazookas and a hose with a nozzle, no one was safe from the trigger happy combatants. With at least15,000 gallons of water, the guns could be loaded, emptied, and reloaded in less than a minute. The garden hose guaranteed a steady stream of ammunition for this water sport. Even those not directly in the line of fire were not spared from the spits of spray. The sound of laughter resounded through the yards. I still couldn't help but remind my son how much I disliked water guns.

The man entered the hospital. An ex-employee wielding a civil war weapon, soon took two of his former female co-workers as hostages. For several days he held them, refusing to negotiate their safe release. the authorities didn't think that he would shoot, but when the ordeal was over, one woman was dead and the other hostage was seriously injured.- all accomplished with a gun from the Civil War.

I was young when I walked next door with my family tooffer sympathy to my neighbors. They had just learned that their teenaged nephew had been shot at point blank range and killed while traveling in a "bad section" of a nearby town.

The adult reader encouraged audience participation for this grade school audience. She was reading "Casey at Bat". Her instruction to the children to shout "kill the umpire" on cue, within days of the shooting at the school in Jonesboro, Arkansas (March 24, 1998) made my stomach twist in a knot. I told another teacher that I would not participate and she was naive and stupid. Just at the right time, one troubled student in my class, stood up, raised his hands as a gun, pointed and "shot" the mascot on the stage. The person in the costume could have gone down with a big splash. Several teachers saw the behavior. The LRC teacher, closest to him, ran over to him to make him sit down.

The newspapers and television were announcing that all unregistered guns could be handed into police with amnesty. This, after a long hot summer of racial unrest when gunshots rang out in the backyards of neighbors and friends in the hometown of my youth.

With the debate of gun control versus our Second Amendment Rights, what do we do? Our nation does not prohibit assault weapons from reaching our streets legally. But, assault weapons are not always guns.

So, what can we do? I don't want to deny gun ownership to people in general because we learn that often the guns used in atrocities such as Columbine (updated to include Virginia Tech and Aurora, Colorado) are obtained illegally or used in illegal fashion.

In my own house, we do not allow guns (toy or real). But sometimes a piece of wood or a hand has been formed to look like gun. A red siren type 'laser" gun was given to the kids as a gift one year- by a family member. I hid it as often as possible but it would show up. I lose the control of the toy guns when the kids visit others.

I limited video games too. Streets of Rage (early version) was hidden by me but the father allowed the kids to play it when I wasn't home. One day we were at a friend's house. Her kids were allowed to play the "007" video game (circa late 1990"s). I walked into their family room while a child had the controller in his hands. The point of view from behind the controller is looking from behind the "gun" aiming at the people on the screen. In some violent video games, they "only shoot aliens".

As someone who would like to see all guns disappear, I have to be realistic and recognize their legitimate uses. But as a parent and teacher, I also know that it is what people learn at impressionable young ages that guides their adult existence. Having learned early that guns cause death and sadness, I am compelled to pass that message on to my children and others.

As parents, we cannot always exercise our authority over our own children's behavior. So, we must teach them that when holding a weapon of any kind, the ultimate control rests in their own hands. They can decide to point and shoot, or not. Unfortunately, even a valid law will not be enough to stop the action of pulling the trigger. Outside pressures or internal turmoil may be too strong a pull.

Children must learn early that there are serious consequences to pulling a trigger on a gun. unless it is water, often the results are deadly, none are reversible. In a media age of violence played for entertainment, children see actors in character injured or killed one day and alive and well in a new role the next. My concern about war re-enactments is that the same thing happens. People "get shot and die" then stand up and walk away. The news does a great job of reporting the shootings (and the wars) but doesn't always follow up with the ripple effects of the violent attacks.(note this was originally written circa 2002).

The picture of the young survivor of Columbine High School's massacre in that USA Today issue in 1999, told a visual story of the devastating effects of the bullet. However, constant replays of the scenes can be desensitizing and lead one to believe a real person was not a target. Parents must take an active role in protecting children from gun violence. According to a 1998 survey by the Center to Prevent Handgun Violence (Asbury Park Press Nov. 14, 1998), 43% of American households, with children, have a gun. Of these, 23% keep a gun loaded at least some of the time.
Children must be taught what to do if they come in contact with a weapon because even a fake one can lead to trouble. Parents have the right and obligation to ask the parents of friends whether or not a gun is located in a house. With young children, playing at that house may not be an option then. Invite the children to your house to play. With older children trust is an issue, so warning them of the danger if someone brings out a gun may be all you can do. But everyone needs to understand that even those trained to use guns cam make mistakes when handling them. (ASK- asking safes children)
Since children do as we do, not always what we say, model appropriate behavior for them. Avoid the use of any object as a weapon. Gun control is more than a legal issue. It is more than just safety locks, smart gun technology and background checks. Gun control rests in the minds, hearts, souls and hands of all of us.

Additional note: Mass shootings in America get us talking about many issues related to the causes. Underlying it all is hatred and vengeance. Guns are a weapon of choice...but not the only type used.
Also, in this most recent mass shooting the gunman, although young, was an adult.  I attended the funeral of a young man who played with a gun and lost.  It was very sad but one hears of that game at times too.

Marian R. Carlino (circa 2002) notes added in italics on July 23, 2012.