Years of Learning

In 1978, I started my teaching career in Galloway Township, New Jersey. I taught in the Galloway Township Public Schools until 1983 working in regular and special education. I did not want to be a teacher with regrets, so after five and a half years of teaching, I left the classroom. As a tenured teacher, some people thought I was nuts. That thought process for those who do not know me has not changed. However, there are too many teachers in our schools today with regrets. They become stale and can't wait to retire. I did not want to be one of those teachers.

I was married at the time but no prospects of children nor a home, so I had some financial freedom. I have learned that if we tie our freedom to our finances we get tied down instead of free.


I went back to school at ACCC which proved to help me obtain a job there years later. I also worked with adults in a purchase of care group home setting. I loved working with the adults but the owners left much to be desired. I was told that my philosophy really didn't set with theirs.

Then, I took a job with a cerebral palsy association in northern New Jersey with the hope of relocating and buying a home in Toms River. Two people have to agree on living arrangements so I left the job after three months because the commute was too much. The job gave me great experience in obtaining work for handicapped adults, pricing, and making sure the work was completed. The adults in the school worked very hard because, through the grace of God, I landed a large contract. The owner of the contracting company were very gracious. First time out, I figured the price wrong but it didn't matter. He was helping the adult workers in the plant. When the truck pulled up to the school's loading dock, I thought I would be fired because there were so many boxes. When I left the job, the adults were hard at work.

My boss at the cerebral palsy center was so understanding when I told her I had to leave the job because of family matters. She gave me some great advice. She said I could always get another job, but not another family.

I then took a job working with "at risk" youth in AC. Right after I took the job, we bought our first and only home and two years later Anna was born. I started as a job developer in the program then ran the three offices for job readiness skills. I worked three years for the company. Working with teenagers and adults over 55 gave me more prospective on the educational process in yet another age and ability range.

Anna was almost 6 months old when I decided to leave program management. I wanted to have more time with my baby after so many years of waiting for the right time to have children. I left the management position, and took a full time substitute position working with emotionally disturbed middle school students. The position was temporary for nine months. It was the first time a student threatened me. The students were used to having a teacher who gave workbooks and did not instruct. Having a teacher who actually taught was different for them.

Anna was in a full time babysitting setting for ten of the first 12 months of her life. I wanted more time with her. I quit full time work and took on work as a daily substitute. As a result, I was offered a part time position in one of the school districts for whom I worked. Since I was also actively interviewing, I was offered a full time job in OC on the same day Northfield Public Schools offered me part time work.

I took the part time job and then became pregnant right before I started in Northfield. Thanks be to God, I had Christopher.

I also tutored during this part time employment for ARC and home schooled students for another local school district. I remained part time for several years when the children were very young. When Christopher went into kindergarten, I started working full time. He thought he was late for school at 7:15. His school didn't start until 9:00. The kids went to a babysitter and to the latch key programs when I worked.

I worked full time for about three years, first in a resource room and then two years in a regular classroom. I left Northfield in April 1998. I learned during my last year of teaching what it truly means to be a teacher. As a result of leaving the classroom setting, I have learned that you do not need a classroom to teach.

When I left the classroom over a school violence issue, I prayed about the decision. One year to the day after I went before a BOE that questioned my concerns, Columbine High School broke out in gunfire...education changed forever that day.  So did I.  I learned on April 20, 1999 that the trust I had in God the previous school year was affirmed.  He saw pictures I did not but had intuition about.

After I left full time work, I asked God what he wanted me to do. Through prayer and discernment, God led me to stay home with my kids. So for seven years, I was a stay at home mom. St. Theresa of the Little Flower helped me get through the laundry and household chores.  Mary, the Mother of Jesus,  helped me realize that being a full time mom was the best way I could contribute to the well being of my own children...and that experience would help me to teach others.

God gave me a piece of the school violence puzzle of which He sees the complete picture.  I am forever grateful that He trusted me to take the piece and do something with it.

As a teacher and parent, I have no regrets.

Marian R. Carlino July 3, 2012