To whom are your children listening?
Parenting is never a spectator sport nor easy at any age. With adult or teenaged children, as my mother tried, it is about being a loving parent walking that fine line between respecting adult status and having concerns. My mom and I had a good relationship. I was with her on her last conscious day on earth. We talked about death. When I sit in front of The Blessed Sacrament at Adoration, I think of her. The Benediction always sparks a memory of her. Today is no different.
When I write about school violence, I am writing for adults with children in mind. Adults are our children too. We are all God's children. Some have strayed far from His voice.
In a previous post, Ezekial, I spoke of ignoring my mom's advice. Her words make perfect sense to me as an adult now, older than she was when she died in 1981. It also began to make sense to me almost 50 years ago. She spoke of how people resolve conflict. Some work it out in an amicable or at least peaceful manner. Some go scorched earth.
So I ask, on rinse and repeat, to whom are your children listening: to people of common sense, with justice in mind or those who go full tilt on violence?
School issues in France are not being resolved in the current status of events. It seems setting fires to buildings, vehicles and to people are trending. To whom are the rebellious youth taking their cues? There are adults involved also. We have obnoxious, rebellious teens in our own communities. Their arguments here are unknown, or are they? Some people do not think they have enough to do. If that is true then stop hiring someone to wash your car, mow the grass, do the dishes, etc. Hire a preteen or teenager? Is that legal?
Do you know where your kids are at 10:00 pm.? How many stabbings and shooting have there been lately among the youth in Pittsburgh? Two did not wait until after 10 pm last week. It was 5 pm here.
People who are not conspiracy theorists, understand that the riots in France are not organic student protests. Agendas are at work in destructive and scortched earth mode. Is it a psyop, asking for friends?
In all of the violence, we have to ask who is aiding and abetting our youth. Well organized single shooter or large scale riots, who is helping? You do not have to be a far out conspiracy theorists to ASK.
Who aided and abetted in the Cornell 7 nightmare? Legal debachury or criminal, questions are coming up all over and they are not sweet smelling. Does the Cornell University situation remind you of the classic movie Animal House or toga parties in the 70's? Are we thankful our behavior did not make international news? No one at that time, unless living under a rock, can pretend that Animal House was not spot on. Adults who literally FOFA and the school will pay no matter who is guilty.
So we tried to warn our kids, right after our mistakes? How are we doing? If we did some work, our voices may have been playing out in their heads. My parents' voices were in my head, but did not keep me out of all danger or stupid activities and yes, illegal drinking! I was legal in NJ at the time. (Not a fan of 21 to drink. We expect 18 year olds to be legally responsible in every other aspect of life. Why are drinking or smoking different?) Luckily, the voices of danger kicked in for me most times even in the 1997-98 school year.
Teen take overs in America are trending, small town or large city businesses and citizens fall prey. Did your 12 year old think of this trend on his or her own? If so, leadership is in the future. Of course, it could involve gangs or jail.
I have never bought into the idea that a school attacker acted solely alone without outside influence impacting decisions. Whether it is the angel and devil on the shoulder or something more sinister, as we are seeing, schools do not go on lockdown because one person is such a genius to act without other voices. Voices of illness or the Columbine Effect, those voices are still active. Could it be a friend, FB, a stranger? Is it you? (Asking because of Marci and Colin.)
Political agendas and recruitment, money, power, stupidity, dares or resolving conflict using the scorched earth theory of resolution cause heartache. Lawsuits and court cases often subscribe to the scorched earth technique too. Ever been through it, you know what I mean.
The Cornell case may just be that, a search and destroy mission so discernment will be inportant. No Clery Act involvement but Title IX played into punishments in 2024. Who was the plaintiff listening to besides the defendents? Again, were any real adult voices warning of dangers playing in anyone's head? Were drugs and alcohol voices the culprits? Should the alcohol industry be put on notice?
Pay attention to France. We have roaming groups of youth. Please know where your children are. Their lives may just depend on it.
If our schools were truly safer than homes, I would not be writing. If I thought my voice was not worth putting into writing, I would just go away. But I still believe Yesterday's news can teach us for today and tomorrow.
I am sitting in a Square that has had stabbings and gunfire in the very recent past. If kids have to go back to the scenes of the crimes in their schools, well I can sit in this Square at Octoberfest. I went back to school with riots as they do today after an attack, because safety is top priority. Do I hear an Amen or ugh?
I like the voices of fun and laughter so sitting in this Square is lovely right now. Schools and learning are lovely too.
We are resourceful if the caring voices work. But not every voice should hold the same weight. As caring as administrators are after a school attack, they should not be leading. France is just a heartbeat away.
If we do not discern the voices influencing us, how do we teach our kids? (Please do not take advice from Marci, Colin, Principal DD or VP, EP. Why you ASK? Read my book or other posts on this blog.)
Right now, it is a beautiful day in my neighborhood. I hope it is in our schools. I still do have hope. Is Mr. Roger's voice in your head right now? Who is influencing you?
Marian Carlino
October 6, 2026