For the life of me, I can not understand the shock. Sexual abuse among people has been a problem since history began. The Bible has some to tell. Biblical characters and historical figures did not get off very easily it seems. Was "It's ok honey, let's just forgive the criminal act." part of their vocabulary. In this "don't judge others" misguided teaching of many false teachers, criminals get away with murder. I really don't get any confirmation of "it's okay, honey" from listening to Scripture nor by reading it.
I remember the story of Cardinal Bernardin way back in ancient history of the 1990's. I remember him because if charges are false, then they have to be fought. Everyone deserves their day in court if accused. Some are falsely accused. But keeping those false accusations secret just masks the problem too. God unmasks the secrets. Keeping credible allegations of sexual assault private is criminal. Did Boston, Pittsburgh, L.A and all the other places since Judas betrayed Jesus pretend nothing was happening? It is like listening to the naïve comments made after the massacre at the high school in Parkland, Florida. We didn't think it could happen here. Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins.
I think every Pope in the last 40 years has had to apologize for the criminal behaviors and cover ups of their brother priests. I am never impressed when someone reports that "Sister so and so" used corporal punishment. Priests and sisters are humans, capable of sin as are the rest of us.
I haven't heard one school official apologize for the massacres at their schools or the sexual assault scandals. Plum Schools here in the Pittsburgh area had to deal with teachers accused of sexual assaults. Different collars, same cloth. No apologies.. just "safety is our biggest concern".
A profound statement advised to me years ago from a fellow parishioner is that we have to pray for our priests and religious. Therefore, I do. But, I readily admit that I am a practicing Catholic not because of the priests and religious in my life, but in spite of some of them. I consider some priests part of my circle of friends. I have greatly admired some and realized that others are more frail than I am in their faith. I also have learned that some priests needed me in their lives, as they may need you, the reader. Doses of reality are helpful too. Some priests should have chosen a different profession. Some may have chosen it because of access to the vulnerable, as in education. Confession is good for the soul but not if your confessor is the same person who uses the information to groom and uses the information to abuse you. The best thing a child can do is speak up. Allegations are taken seriously now-- or are they?
So after these many years will the Church finally get it right on child abuse and honesty? I don't think so if other Grand Juries are needed to unlock the closet doors of secrecy from the past. Open those doors. Allow the Holy Spirit to clear the air. I would like Baltimore to be honest about what happened to Sister Kathy who was murdered in the 60's. How shocked can we be in 2018?
I have taught child assault prevention. I have attended mandated trainings myself . The laity at these trainings many times have not seen the relevance of the trainings in their lives. Well, to the naïve people in the trainings, awareness is relevant. I had the same experience in public schools, Catholic Schools and in CCD. We taught children to protect themselves because adults did not protect them.
(Child assault prevention programs are also suspect. I worked for one but that is for another blog.)
The clergy of all denominations, educators, family members, strangers.. all who are sexual assault abusers use their body part to assault. The penis used in a sexual assault is likened to using a frying pan as a weapon in child assault scenarios. What is the frying pan meant to do? Cook. What is the penis for? Well, it is not meant to be used as a weapon. Coke bottles and other objects have real uses too. Hands are not meant to be used as weapons, nor are the digits on one's hands.
Anyone who has ever signed a confidentiality agreement to keep the truth from being exposed will always be looking over their backs. The truth and every skeleton we try to keep in the closet of history will get out. A victim of sexual assault is never fully healed - especially when the secret is to be kept under false pretenses. Money does not heal the broken-hearted. Judas threw his 30 pieces of silver back, then committed suicide.
Time fades memories as well as colors those memories over time. I know one brave woman who is in her 80's. Her father went to jail when she was a child. Her sisters and mother did the right thing. It seems the mother and sisters were ahead of their time. When time passes, the truth can get swept away. Also, not reporting allows the abuser to gain more victims. No abuser has just one victim.
Did Pennsylvania really need a Grand Jury for the truth to come out? Sadly, it seems yes. In recent years, The Church has done much to vet new priests and volunteers. In the Pittsburgh Diocese, no one can volunteer for anything without going through training (one session), background checks and finger printing. Every five years the history needs to be checked. But the secrets of the past were right there... beating behind the walls all along.
Will there be a brighter future for the Church? The Pittsburgh Church is in the fire. Fire purifies- and what fire doesn't purify, it destroys. In order for the Church to be fully alive., it does need pruning of the dead branches.
Have you ever watched a glass blower form a beautiful piece of art?
Families, schools, and all institutions world wide need the same purification. Every generation has its perverseness. Silence does not help.
Organizations whose main job is to help others, who are not vetting their volunteers, are setting themselves up for the same failures of the Catholic Church. Buyer be ware.
A naive but seemingly sincere nationally known anchor on Fox News interviewed Bishop Zubik last night. The Bishop in answer to a really stupid question handled the answer quite well. The Bishop was asked if married priests would help with the issue because Catholic priests are celibate. Thankfully, the Bishop said no. He said no because the most sexual abuse cases happen in the home. He is absolutely correct on that. Sexual assault is not about sex. It is power and control. Married men and woman or sexually active men and women commit sexual assaults. Family is a breeding ground.
So, with all this, I am going to remain faithful to my faith practice. I am going to support the priests who are doing the right thing. We live in a sin-filled world. People on pedestals can disappoint. I am disgusted that a Grand Jury had to be formed. But, I am hopeful that the purification process will make those who doubted that speaking up was the right thing to do, will do it now. Hope springs eternal.
The courage of our convictions. Bishop Zubik referenced the Cross last night during an interview. We have to pick up our Cross as Catholics.
If people continue to think that God has it covered and you don't need to do anything- then the advise of Jesus may not be a priority for you. He had a lot to say to his disciples about children. He rebuked them about children a few times. I think we should consider ourselves rebuked.
I stood at a free food give away booth at the Bloomfield Little Italy Days on Saturday as I came out of the church after having made a visit. The conversation between the young woman and a young man involved Franklin Regional High School. She worked for a PR firm hired by the school. The young man works at a local college. He said both his parents are teachers. I told them my story briefly. I told them speaking up was the best thing I ever did despite the back lash.
Speak up! PR firms are hired to spin the lies. The Catholic Church and all schools need to open up the closets. The skeletons are restless. Is one knocking on your family's door?
Marian R. Carlino
August 21, 2018
