The Actor- an Education (for whom) and 3%

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. And as I often do, I witness in front of PP.   PP is an ugly, dirty building at the intersection of Liberty Avenue and Smithfield Street in downtown Pittsburgh.  PP locates in urban areas- on purpose.  They want bus routes near by their establishments or easy access.

As my fellow advocates and I were standing there, a older man got out of a car.  He yelled at my friend that we should be protesting up in Oakland (at a park I read later) against the war.  My mind flashed back to Vietnam.  I was wondering which war was under protest.  I googled the information later and found out it was a protest against the defense budget.  This bit of knowledge made the comments I suggested even more prophetic.

I asked the man, as he tried to open the theater door a few feet from where I was standing, if he wanted a resource card.  He went off on me too.. telling me if I were really pro-life, I would be at the protest. I told him I am pro-life and have chosen the right to life as my advocacy.  He told me I should be protesting the war and the death penalty and that woman have the right to do whatever they want with their bodies.  (The law would not agree. Try injecting yourself with heroin. The law would have plenty to say and I bet he would too.)

Well-  I am glad you mentioned the death penalty I told him as he still struggled to get into the door. It is a local theater.  He is one of the actors.  I know he is an actor because I asked him why he wasn't at the protest.  He said he couldn't go because he had to work- he is an actor.  Oh good, an actor who is working.  He didn't know that I was going to my work after my time on the sidewalk.  He didn't care.  He didn't ask what I do for work nor why I stand and take time to advocate for non-violent choices to abortion.

I was glad he mentioned the death penalty.  I was able to tell him I did help change the law in NJ.  I got off a proverbial fence that so many sit on and wrote my representatives.  I told them how I was found "guilty" of "incompetence" as a teacher.  I told them how I should have had all the rights afforded me but my rights were violated.  I told them how easy it was for people to lie and the evidence ignored.  I told them I was a white woman in my 40's at the time and had the so called backing of a union.  I told them I think everyone has a chance to change.. even if it means life in prison,  as I am for justice.  I told them my story.  My representatives thanked me.   ....An injustice for one so to speak. 

I didn't say all that to the man..just the part of the advocating for change but I did tell him the law was changed, but not long after that my friend's son ended up on death row (Pennsylvania).  He was found guilty by a judge of the deaths of  three women and a child.  Abortion factored into the whole scenario for that man.  He paid for one of the dead women to have an abortion not long before he murdered the woman, her sister and the little girl.  (The third adult victim had been from years before.)  On a side note,  there was no fair trial by a jury of his peers for the man.

Not knowing at the time of our brief encounter that the protest was on the defense budget, I asked him if he was against war, how did he feel about 3% of PP financial success being from abortion.  He didn't answer.  I asked again.  The door still did not open and neither did he respond.  Babies die in abortion. If it was the woman's body that would definitely die, she may make a more non-violent choice.   Women do regret their choices for their bodies after the abortion.  And they mourn the death of the child.

Then since he was concerned that others should protest against the war,  I pointed out that during the Vietnam War, Dow Chemical (called baby killers back then) manufactured napalm. It was only 1% of their business but they were called baby killers.   The actor could not do the math it seems.  But I did know someone years ago who did.  I met him as my neighbor in O.C., NJ.  He was a biology teacher at Holy Spirit High School.  He had worked for Dow Chemical when he first got out of college, but he quit, he told me, because of the napalm.

If you have a problem with deaths caused by war, how can you possibly accept the death of an unborn child with the lame and false reasoning that women have a right to do whatever they want to choose with their bodies.   Try drinking out of a plastic straw (thrown in for good measure this morning) in some cities.  Try getting an opioid today without a check of a state database.  Try hugging a student in a classroom- male or female.

The righteous anti-war protester who wasn't going to the protest because he had to work -  didn't answer any of my questions.  He wouldn't even answer the name of the play in which he was performing.  The door finally opened when another actor, who smiled at us, came along.  He must have had the magic to open the door.

I include the definition of hypocrisy here: from Google: the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform; pretense.

We can all be hypocritical, it is true. But regarding the turtle,

 "Behold the turtle, he makes progress only when he sticks his neck out." When you are willing to stick your neck out to educate others, make sure the closets are open and cleaned out.

Aborted babies are stuck between the hypocrisy of political correctness.   

If only it were the woman's body, but a baby's body has different DNA and blood supply.  A male child is carried in utero.  A woman does not have a  penis unless it is made of plastic or some other fake material.

All the world's a stage.. some are actors.

Marian R. Carlino

August 26, 2018

Janet and Nellie- an Education Part 2

I decided to walk along side streets as part of my walk home from the bus stop yesterday.  I had to stay on the main street for my walking and eating tour for the night.  After I bought the main course at a Burgher's place- play on words is their idea, I carried my first bag of goodies and took the side street.  This area of Pittsburgh is eclectic, trendy now, and full of history.  I remember the general area from years ago.  Ross' cousin, a member of a religious order, lived for a time in this section.  We would visit her when we were just married and living in Indiana, Pa.  Lawrenceville has many old churches, most closed now.

But people have re-invested in Lawrenceville and for several years now, it has had a rebirth.  People investing in their neighborhoods or strangers coming in and investing in the neighborhood is good.  Pittsburghers know how to do that.

As I was making my way back up to the main street, as the river walk will be for another time, I journeyed through a new apartment complex.  I have seen the progress of it because from my seat on the bus, I have watched. For the last few summers I have vacationed in this part of Pittsburgh- which I mean sincerely.

I met Janet and her dog Nellie.  We came close enough in contact to exchange greetings.  Then I said I liked the stone fence and took a picture of it.  She took a seat near where I was standing and started talking.  I learned several things about the section of Pittsburgh in the 10 minute conversation.  The section is called Arsenal and with good reason.  She told me when they were building the complex in which we were standing, they found canon balls in the ground.  Pittsburgh is surrounded by rivers.  It would make sense that during the wars it be would be a site for all sorts of manufacturing.

A high school is across the street.  The first floor of the building in front of which we were standing remains empty. A brewery type establishment was to be licensed to operate in it.  But, the neighbors got together to fight it because the high school was across the street.  For a variety of reasons, the idea was not a good one.  I hope something opens in the space for all to enjoy.

Some of the old industrial buildings are being re-purposed.  Janet said around the corner from where we were standing is a high tech business. Janet pointed to where Uber has a presence in Lawrenceville. - in the Arsenal section.  Small eating establishments, small stores like antique shops (met the owner of one tonight- we talked!) and dress shops make up a huge part of the area.  There is new construction for the Fransicans' order.   Several tatoo parlors will paint your arms  and what ever else.   Bowling has not gone out of style here.  Carnegie Mellon University, which has its main campus in Oakland, also has a part to play in the revitalization of the area.

Janet was born and raised in Lawrenceville. I told her I love the section of Pittsburgh and enjoy coming every summer to live.  As we discussed different topics related to the neighborhood, Nellie sat and listened.  I bet she would have a thing or two to say too if she could speak.

I told Janet that I always wanted to see Paris.   In a local book store here in Lawrenceville, I found  a book titled, Pittsburgh, Paris of Appalachia.   I live in Paris.   So does she!

My first summer in Pittsburgh, my daughter and I watched the fireworks at Arsenal Park- food was involved!!

Janet,  with Nellie, and I with my bag of treats for the main dinner course, went in separate directions as our conversation ended.  My life is a little richer after having met Janet and Nellie.

Marian R. Carlino
August 26, 2018

The Pink Straw and an Education

I had a most delicious milkshake from a new place of business last night.  The sweet smell of waffle cones being made drew me in. I conversed with the owner of the new establishment while the specialty shake was being made.  I learned a little about him and he learned a little about me. Our conversation was friendly, open and honest while remaining pedestrian.  Our accents determined that neither one of us were native of Pittsburgh.  I am a Jersey girl and he is from Turkey.  I asked how long the store had been open.  He said eight days.  So theoretically, I was one of his first customers.  Two younger people made the shake.  I went with the strawberry cheesecake this time!

The sign outside advertised "we have Penn State ice cream".  I joked that they needed a sign for Pitt ice cream also.  The owner educated me.  He said there is a creamery in the Penn State area that makes the ice cream. It is quite famous.  I did not know that.  I later googled the information.  Very true.  Penn State alumni would know that.

We joked about the rivalry and the selling aspect of sweet smells as one passes by. 

We connected over a sweet smell.  I drank my milkshake out of a wide pink straw while I walked along the main street.   The large pieces of strawberries could be sucked right up out of the creamy cheesecake shake.  When I got home I used that straw as a spoon to get every last drop of cream and topping that would not make its way through the straw. 

The large, pink, plastic straw- a happy color choice for a business to use.  Paper would not have worked.

Thanks FRIO creamery!!

I will have to walk a little longer today,  but my life is a little richer today because of that sweet smell and a conversation.



Marian R. Carlino
August 26, 2018

Shocking

In the last week, since the release of the much anticipated Grand Jury Report on Clergy abuse in the Catholic Church in Pennsylvania, people are in shock, dismayed, disgusted (my attitude), angry, hopeful, prayerful.  The letters, apologies, mea culpas go on and on.  People can have all sorts of feelings and express their thoughts but what we do with those feelings and thoughts will make the difference between mice and men.

For the life of me, I can not understand the shock. Sexual abuse among people has been a problem since history began.  The Bible has some to tell.  Biblical characters and historical figures did not get off very easily it seems.  Was "It's ok honey, let's just forgive the criminal act." part of their vocabulary.  In this "don't judge others" misguided teaching of many false teachers, criminals get away with murder.  I really don't get any confirmation of "it's okay, honey" from listening to Scripture nor by reading it.

I remember the story of Cardinal Bernardin way back in ancient history of the 1990's.  I remember  him because if charges are false, then they have to be fought.  Everyone deserves their day in court if accused.  Some are falsely accused.  But keeping those false accusations secret just masks the problem too.  God unmasks the secrets.  Keeping credible allegations of sexual assault private is criminal.  Did Boston, Pittsburgh,  L.A and all the other places since Judas betrayed Jesus pretend nothing was happening?   It is like listening to the naïve comments made after the massacre at the high school in Parkland, Florida.  We didn't think it could happen here.  Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins.  

I think every Pope in the last 40 years has had to apologize for the criminal behaviors and cover ups of their brother priests.   I am never impressed when someone reports that "Sister so and so" used corporal punishment.  Priests and sisters are humans, capable of sin as are the rest of us.
I haven't heard one school official apologize for the massacres at their schools or the sexual assault scandals.  Plum Schools here in the Pittsburgh area had to deal with teachers accused of sexual assaults.   Different collars, same cloth. No apologies.. just "safety is our biggest concern".

A profound statement advised to me years ago from a fellow parishioner is that we have to pray for our priests and religious.  Therefore, I do.  But, I readily admit that I am a practicing Catholic not because of the priests and religious in my life, but in spite of some of them.  I consider some priests part of my circle of friends.  I have greatly admired some and realized that others are more frail than I am in their faith.  I also have learned that some priests needed me in their lives, as they may need you, the reader.  Doses of reality are helpful too.  Some priests should have chosen a different profession.  Some may have chosen it because of access to the vulnerable, as in education.  Confession is good for the soul but not if your confessor is the same person who uses the information to groom and uses the information to abuse you.   The best thing a child can do is speak up.  Allegations are taken seriously now-- or are they?

So after these many years will the Church finally get it right on child abuse and honesty?  I don't think so if other Grand Juries are needed to unlock the closet doors of secrecy from the past. Open those doors.  Allow the Holy Spirit to clear the air.  I would like Baltimore to be honest about what happened to Sister Kathy who was murdered in the 60's.  How shocked can we be in 2018?

I have taught child assault prevention.  I have attended mandated trainings myself .  The laity at these trainings many times have not seen the relevance of the trainings in their lives.  Well, to the naïve people in the trainings, awareness is relevant.   I had the same experience in public schools, Catholic Schools and in CCD.   We taught children to protect themselves because adults did not protect them.  

(Child assault prevention programs are also suspect.  I worked for one but that is for another blog.)

The clergy of all denominations, educators, family members, strangers..  all who are sexual assault abusers use their body part to assault.  The penis used in a sexual assault is likened to using a frying pan as a weapon in child assault scenarios.  What is the frying pan meant to do?  Cook.  What is the penis for?   Well, it is not meant to be used as a weapon.  Coke bottles and other objects have real uses too.  Hands are not meant to be used as weapons, nor are the digits on one's hands.

Anyone who has ever signed a confidentiality agreement to keep the truth from being exposed will always be looking over their backs.  The truth and every skeleton we try to keep in the closet of history will get out.   A victim of sexual assault is never fully healed - especially when the secret is to be kept under false pretenses. Money does not heal the broken-hearted. Judas threw his 30 pieces of silver back, then committed suicide.

Time fades memories as well as colors those memories over time.  I know one brave woman who is in her 80's.  Her father went to jail when she was a child.  Her sisters and mother did the right thing. It seems the mother and sisters were ahead of their time.  When time passes, the truth can get swept away.  Also, not reporting allows the abuser to gain more victims.  No abuser has just one victim.

Did Pennsylvania really need a Grand Jury for the truth to come out? Sadly, it seems yes.  In recent years, The Church has done much to vet new priests and volunteers.  In the Pittsburgh Diocese, no one can volunteer for anything without going through training (one session), background checks and finger printing.  Every five years the history needs to be checked. But the secrets of the past were right there...  beating behind the walls all along.

Will there be a brighter future for the Church?    The Pittsburgh Church is in the fire.  Fire purifies- and what fire doesn't purify, it destroys.  In order for the Church to be fully alive., it does need pruning of the dead branches.

Have you ever watched a glass blower form a beautiful piece of art?

Families, schools, and all institutions world wide need the same purification. Every generation has its perverseness.  Silence does not help.

Organizations whose main job is to help others, who are not vetting their volunteers, are setting themselves up for the same failures of the Catholic Church.  Buyer be ware.

A naive but seemingly sincere nationally known anchor on Fox News interviewed Bishop Zubik last night.  The Bishop in answer to a really stupid question handled the answer quite well.  The Bishop was asked if married priests would help with the issue because Catholic priests are celibate.  Thankfully, the Bishop said no.   He said no because the most sexual abuse cases happen in the home.  He is absolutely correct on that.  Sexual assault is not about sex.  It is power and control.  Married men and woman or sexually active men and women commit sexual assaults.  Family is a breeding ground.

So, with all this, I am going to remain faithful to my faith practice.  I am going to support the priests who are doing the right thing.  We live in a sin-filled world.  People on pedestals can disappoint.  I  am disgusted that a Grand Jury had to be formed.  But, I am hopeful that the purification process will make those who doubted that speaking up was the right thing to do, will do it now.  Hope springs eternal.

The courage of our convictions.  Bishop Zubik referenced the Cross last night during an interview.  We have to pick up our Cross as Catholics.

If people continue to think that God has it covered and you don't need to do anything- then the advise of Jesus may not be a priority for you.   He had a lot to say to his disciples about children.  He rebuked them about children a few times.  I think we should consider ourselves rebuked.

I stood at a free food give away booth at the Bloomfield Little Italy Days on Saturday as I came out of the church after having made a visit.  The conversation between the young woman and a young man involved Franklin Regional High School.  She worked for a PR firm hired by the school.  The young man works at a local college. He said both his parents are teachers.  I told them my story briefly.  I told them speaking up was the best thing I ever did despite the back lash.

Speak up!   PR firms are hired to spin the lies.  The Catholic Church and all schools need to open up the closets.  The skeletons are restless.  Is one knocking on your family's door?

 

Marian R. Carlino
August 21, 2018


                                                                     

 

A Boy and a Dog and a Foot and a Shoe

Somewhere over the rainbow.. bluebirds fly   Somewhere Over the Rainbow medly


Have you ever loved anyone or anything so much, that you are impelled to express your emotions- in unusual, but socially acceptable ways?

When two of my sisters and I were younger, my older brother, Bill, bought a puppy to our house.  My parents were not exactly thrilled but Panda soon became one of the family.  My sister, Beth, loved him so much. One day, she said, " I love him so much I have to bite his shoe." Panda's favorite toy was a plastic dog toy shaped like a man's shoe. So my bar for loving one so much is the one Beth set!!   It was a child's honest expression of love!

After my mom died, Ross and I took Panda and cared for him for about three years before he had to cross the rainbow bridge.  My dad was still alive at the time but could not care for Panda.  Through the years, they had become best buds.  The call to my dad that Panda had died was a difficult call.  Panda was 16.

My sister, Beth and her husband, have loved and cared for dogs their entire life together.  She and her husband have given a great home to several dogs through the years.  Some were rescued and some were brought to the home as puppies.  All had/have special personalities. She does not bite their shoes but they have been known to chew on a few of their shoes!!  The summer I moved to Pittsburgh, two of their dogs crossed over the rainbow bridge.  They now have two other dogs- one rescued and one from the puppy stage.

Chris, my son, has loved dogs his entire life.  He was born  after we took on the responsibility of the Carlino family dog, named Sammy.  Sammy and her original parents lived with us for a brief time when Sammy was a puppy.  She knew Panda and as a puppy drove him a little crazy during that time.  But Sammy moved with her parents to Florida for a time.  She arrived back on our door step in May 1985, the day we moved into our house in Somers Point.  We were not going to take her but the look on her face was pleading with us.  She would have stayed in a home of acquaintances at the time, but Ross and I couldn't resist her looks.  So we took her in, fenced in the yard and kept her.  What was a temporary situation, became permanent.  Three years into the deal, it was not fair to have her leave to live in a townhouse.  Our home was her home for 9 years.  Anna and Chris loved her so much when they came along and she loved them!! Sammy was 12 when she died.   Chris, Anna and I did foster a friend's dog for about a year and a half.  When he had to go back to his real parents, Chris's friends came to say good bye.  A short ride in a huge camper vehicle was part of the festivities.   We heard recently that our fostered dog, Cowboy aka Buddy Guy also crossed the rainbow bridge.

Chris's grandmother and uncle on the Carlino side of the family had dogs too.  Christopher got along with even the big ones- Mastives of all shapes and sizes.  Chris met Beth's and Keith's dog Moose when Moose was a puppy- a Heinz 57 like Panda was.  I can still see Chris and Moose playing an running together at a park in Toms River, NJ area so many years ago.  Chris would take another  uncle's cat for a ride in a stroller when he was just a toddler himself.

Many of the family's and friend's dogs and cats  have crossed that rainbow bridge.  Zion joined them today.

Now for today's update:

Anna and Chris still love dogs.  In fact, they both have rescued pitbulls.  Chris and Kelly also have cats.  Some of you may know of the few days at Christmas when Lola, Anna and Jeff's dog, escaped out the door of where she was staying.  It was a tense time, but Anna and Jeff, after her rescue, were so grateful to all the people who took time away from their work and social life schedules to help find her.  After escaping on Christmas night, she was found three days later by a caring stranger.  Many family members and strangers walked, called, and offered real help.  People and dogs- hard to separate! Zion helped in the search.

Zion, Christopher's and Kelly's dog, crossed over the rainbow bridge today.  He was such a chill dog.  I am impelled to tell his story as I know it.  I have no shoe to bite and I am too far away to hug Chris and Kelly or Trinity, Maggie or Reggie..so I am writing!!

Christopher met Zion while working with a social service agency in NJ.  He was just out of college and working with AmeriCorps.  He lived with a group of men who are truly, truly his best friends- some since childhood.

A woman Chris knew was in a difficult situation and needed to find temporary placement for her dog.  What started out as a temporary situation became a permanent situation.  I am so proud of Christopher.  He took Zion at a time when most young men are not taking on responsibility such as owning and caring for a dog..

I was concerned because of the situation and I only knew what the news reports of pitbulls.  The news doesn't get it right very often now does it.  Zion was one of the most chill dogs I have ever met.
He not only got along with every person he met, he got along with every dog and cat too.  Even "outdoor cat" at one of their apartments was a friend of Zion's!

Christopher's wife, Kelly,  loves cats and dogs and all animals too.  One day she was asked to take in a cat, Maggie, as a kitten.  Maggie lived with Chris, Zion and the other men in the house until Chris and Kelly established their own home.  Another dog, Trinity,  and another cat, Reggie, Zion had animal siblings who will mourn his absence.  Maggie, Reggie and Trinity will help at this time!!

Trinity staying by Zion when he first started to take the turn.

When Chris and Kelly exchanged their marriage vows,  Zion carried the rings.  He looked very dashing wearing a yellow tie!

Early on, Zion stayed with me one night in my apartment in Somers Point, NJ when I lived there .  I was not supposed to have pets, but Zion was a visitor.  I was a little concerned.  Christopher had warned me that when he would leave the room, Zion would whine.   He whined when Chris and Kelly left to go visit friends.  I knew it was not serious so I tried to comfort him.  I sat on a chair and Zion tried to sit in my lap.  (Whenever I sit in that chair now, I think of Zion.)  Since I lived in an apartment I had to call Chris and Kelly to come home (about 1 am).  They came and got him and then went to a friend's house with him.  Needlessly, I was concerned that they took him to the friend's home because they had a dog.  I didn't know at the time that Zion was a universal lover!  If I had trusted the judgement of Chris at the time, I would have lifted Zion up on my bed.  Lessons learned.

Eventually, Zion was one of my sleeping companions along with the other animals strategically placed through the years.  Two and three dogs nights when we all would get together were not uncommon!

Another time I was concerned about how Zion would react was when he met Lola for the first time.  Zion was known for being well built if you know what I mean.  He was a gentleman and Chris, Kelly, Anna and Jeff supervised the first meeting.  My kids assured me all was well.  Lola fell in love at first site.  The picture here is not a unique one.  Lola and Zion often snuggled when they were together!!

The story of Zion would not be complete from my perspective without mentioning the names of those who helped Chris parent him through the years.  I know in recent times, Kelly's parents loved and cared for Zion (and the rest of the crew) when needed.  Kelly's sister and her boyfriend also have.  Steve, Josh, Danny and their wives and girlfriend's also loved Zion.  They also helped care for him at times through the years.  There have been roommates and friends who "lived in" when Chris and Kelly went on vacation.  There have been friends who have shared the couch with Zion too.  The "REV" is one of them.

Christopher  and Kelly made a road trip in May to Pittsburgh  to see us.  We knew it would be Zion's last trip here.  He got a chance to meet, Sheldon, the newest member in Anna's and Jeff's family.  I was in that pile for awhile that day!!  Zion is on the floor.  Sleeping from left to right on the sofa are Trinity, Sheldon and Lola.

Animals can leave footprints on our hearts.  May they enjoy their reward for being man's best friend when they cross over the rainbow bridge.  All God's creatures great and small- we know God loves them all.

Christopher and Kelly would love to do something for all animals.  As a child I told him as hard as it is, we can't.  So you have to take the best care of the animals that are put in your life.  Chris and Kelly did that with Zion.  He was much loved.  He will be greatly missed.


TOTOTOTO!!!!

Marian R. Carlino
August 11, 2018

They called it Amish Grace-and a 13 year old girl named Marian

The day it happened, one of my close friends texted me, that she wanted to take the kids and get away from the ugliness of this world.  I hadn't seen the news so I didn't know the reference at that point.  How does one explain a massacre at a quiet school setting in the Amish countryside? If one has never been to the Lancaster County area of Pennsylvania, one would not know that two cultures exist- side by side.  Hustling and bustling, yet overall peaceful.

When my children were young, my family visited the area and I have driven through it many times.  I often wondered how the Amish could live side by side with the tourist areas.  Of course, part of that tourist money is their livelihood.  I like city sidewalks and the hustle and bustle of city life, but there was an appealing aspect of the quieter side.  Living simply and with family.  Possible but not tried by many these days.

So in 2006, when the international news broke that a quiet setting in Lancaster, Pa was torn apart, the news was shocking.   The linked article gives some explanation as to why the homicidal/suicidal man took the lives of young children, then his own.   It is an interesting read.

The name Marian comes up in the article.
" When the state police arrived, Roberts ordered them to leave the property or he would shoot. He told the girls, “I’m going to make you pay for my daughter.” One of the girls, 13-year old Marian, said, “Shoot me first.” Roberts began shooting each of the girls before finally shooting himself. When the police broke in to the school, two of the girls, including Marian, were dead. Naomi Rose died in the arms of a state trooper."

The teacher's response is interesting:

"When the young teacher saw his guns, she and her mother left the other adults with the children and ran to a nearby house for help. A call was made to 911."

The Amish community of Nickel Mines has been given much credit with offering forgiveness. They offered forgiveness to the man's family. But being human, they can not escape the stages of grief. The Amish also are a community who shun people in their own faith practice, so in this circumstance, the murderer was not one of their own community of believers. The murderer was a vengeful man who hated God.  He would be in jail today if he had not committed suicide.

At Nickle Mines,  the message that day per the article:
"On the blackboard was a sign with a teddy bear. The sign read “Visitors Bubble Up Our Days”. One revenge minded visitor destroyed it.

I don't agree with the white washing of history, so I have always argued the point that the school districts which have experienced the school massacres or have had any type of violence occur, then try to explain it away, are part of the problem and not part of the solution. Columbine and Parkland, Florida (the name of the high school at Parkland is conveniently not the household name that Columbine is) have been the best examples.  The schools experienced the same type of tragedy-20 years apart- of having huge problems explode on the national scene. The Columbine killers real dream was to have the school explode.

None of the families have sought vengeance. The families want answers, but they have offered forgiveness as well. Seeking the truth is not about vengeance. I do feel that grace has been shown in many, if not all, of the families which have experienced the tragedies. If grace is what we need after a tragedy, let's try to put grace into effect, in order to prevent one.  Those who march after a death and block sidewalks and roadways could learn a thing or two as well from the grace of the Amish. 

On a scale of justice, violence begets violence.. and no justice will prevail.


Amish School shooting                          YouTube video     The mother of the 32 year old killer speaks

The wife of the Nickle Mines killer   The mother took a fetal position.....

Why should you care?  Another school year has started.

Marian R. Carlino

August 11, 2018

Accused of Offering No Hope

I was checking YouTube clips tonight.  I was not looking for these, but, the two clips below were in the field of choices.  To be honest I was googling other movies that an actor I enjoy watching has made.   Hallmark movie actors- who would have thought that Mrs.Kleibold's interviews and talks would pop up.

In 1998, the principal with whom I worked in Northfield, NJ -Northfield Community School accused me of having no hope for the troubled child's future.  I thought she was wrong then and the years have taught me that she not only was wrong then, but she was actually the one with no hope for the child's future.  Was she afraid that if we could all get on the same page with this troubled child, that we could all be made aware of the other troubled children in the school?

Each time the news breaks about a school shooting,  I can not help but to think of my experience in 1998.  I was as they say, ahead of a dangerous curve.  I took heat for a good decision... a decision I will never regret.  I write to encourage others to take a stand.  There may actually be someone to whom you can give hope to the future.

Cruz, the shooter at the Parkland, Florida high school was adopted.  Both of his adopted parents died.  What would the mother have to say about her son should she have been alive on February 14, 2018?

The mother of Dylan Kleibold wrote a  book a few years after  the massacre at Columbine High School.  The same publisher who told me "no one wants to hear the trials and tribulations of a teacher" in response to a book idea I sent him, later wrote the forward to Mrs. Kleibold's book.

The people who speak from the families of the students at Columbine and Parkland speak from a victim standpoint.  It helps them come to grips with what happened in their own neighborhood.  Did the culture at Columbine contribute to the massacre? Did the culture at Parkland, Florida contribute to the massacre there?  If a culture of denial and ignorance is factored in, then the answer is yes.  The culture at the two schools contributed to the massacres.  The killers were suicidal and no one knew despite violence outbursts factored with depression, arrests (felonies), videos and even self reporting  to the police, by Cruz, himself to authorities.

The principals at both schools had their heads stuck in the sand.  They did not know the school.  They did not know the students who committed the murders.  The parents did not know their own children nor of what they would become capable.

Mrs. Kleibold is not an expert on prevention, but she does have a story to tell.  

Listen to Mrs. Kleibold… from her perspective.  


Dylan Kleibold's mother speaks


Sue Klebold Recalls What Her Son Dylan Was Like at Home: Part 2

The principal with whom I worked had no hope for the child in my class.  Lucky for him, I did.

Can the principal with whom I worked look back proudly at her actions today in 2018? She sat proudly  and smugly in the public seats hearing the punishment I received as the teacher who protected students?  Do the principals at Columbine and the school in Parkland look back knowing they did not do everything they could have done to prevent the massacre?

What about the parents?    Do the parents of the child with whom I worked ever think- without hope offered by my son's second grade teacher, that their child could be just another statistic?

We can't change the mistakes of the past, but we can offer hope for the future by learning from the mistakes of the past.  In this world, we tend to listen to those who really got it wrong.

As educators and parents we often get it wrong.  Sometimes getting it wrong is deadly.
Offer hope for a child's future before it is time to remember the dead.

Why does this matter?  Another school year is already underway.  What is your definition of hope?

Related to the post about Nickel Mines School shooting and the mother of the shooter there, she says at the end of this short video " I want everyone to know there is  hope for a future.  There is a tomorrow. The way we approach that tomorrow depends on the choices we make today."
She took a fetal position---


https://bible.org/article/hope

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2014/05/26/what-is-the-biblical-or-christian-definition-of-hope/

Marian R. Carlino
August 10, 2018