Author Unknown

                    "A truly special teacher is very wise, 
                        and sees tomorrow in every child's eyes."

                                                                     ~Author Unknown

     A local school district has the above quote as the heading for its Homepage. A wise teacher does indeed "see tomorrow in every child's eye" if the teacher is looking into the eyes of the child. We are told that the eyes are the "windows to our souls."  When I read of troubled youths, more so than the ones who succeed, I wonder what type of job are we really doing when so many children have sadness and pain in their eyes.  They say a mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child. A wise teacher knows how a mother feels.
     A wise teacher wept from a Cross many years ago to set the example. His mother, his first teacher, was at the foot of that Cross. From where did He learn his compassion?
Teachers, look up when you talk to the children.  Look into their eyes.  Greet them at the door.  The children who have sadness and pain in their eyes will be the ones who need you the most.
Otherwise, get out of teaching.

With help from the Master Teacher:
Marian R. Carlino
June 9, 2013

BC and AD

    Before political correctness (PC) came into play, everyone would recognize the terms BC and AD.

The terms imply periods of time referring to life before and after the birth of the very important Son of God.  Whether one recognizes this man as a prophet, rabbi, or King, this man had a significant impact on society even to this day.
     I have a similar use for the term "b.c".  I sometimes casually use the term to mean my life "before children".  Before I had my own children, I did not really know how much goes into loving another person. Parental love (not necessarily biological) is something very special.  It is self sacrificing and most rewarding.  So is the love many teachers have for the children under their care.  Some teachers have literally given their lives to protect children.

     

   

Pentecost and "The Courage of Our Convictions"

    Life happens....good things ....bad things...sometimes we have no choice or power over what is happening  to us.  I had  no decision making authority or power when three important people in my life died. Therefore, I had to accept my niece's death and my parents' deaths.  The Serenity Prayer was helpful at that time to "accept the things I could not change".  I had to adjust to my loss.  I did, but I will never forget them and they are remembered daily.

But, then there come times in our lives- "forks in the road"-  at which we do have the authority, we do have power over a situation.  And we must act.  The gift store at the Missionaries of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary in Linwood, NJ  has a Serenity Prayer card that has a different ending to the Serenity prayer. It states: "And, Lord, help me to do what is right, even if I think it is hopeless."   

There is a man with a scissor over there...Minding my own business

I was minding my own business, enjoying a lovely evening at a local ocean side community. Three of us had gone to support a young man in his budding profession.
I met a woman who had a "God story" by which I was uplifted because of her faith.  Her story was one of struggle and survival after years of relatively easy living  She told me of the friendship of strangers (local Christian church) after Hurricane Sandy.   Her husband had died suddenly just a year or so before the wind and water storm.  His last words were "I see two lights."  Words of comfort from a dying man for a shocked and grieving wife.  She has testimony to share as well as tears of joy after sorrow.  
The room was small and the air warm, so my friends and I went to sit on a bench for some cool air.  A gentleman offered to share some space.  We sat and talked for a moment and then he got up.  He was going to his car for something.  As he walked away, I glanced in his direction for a moment and saw that he was engaged in conversation and walking with a tall, thin man.  The scene registered in my mind that he struck up another conversation with someone from the event or he joined again with someone he knew.  The picture of two men walking together seemed natural.  Nothing was out of context.......

FERPA- Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act- some notes

 When I first started addressing the school violence issue 15 years ago, I sent away for free documentation regarding troubled students and sharing information about concerns.  I received many free copies of Sharing Information: A Guide to the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act and Participation in Juvenile Justice Programs a program report from the U.S. Department of Justice.   I gave the information to co-workers, board of education members, and distributed the books at school violence workshops.
FERPA, the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act is not new.  But many people who work in our educational system are not aware of it or misinterpret the purpose.  FERPA is meant to protect student records, but is not meant to protect or hide information related to violent behavior.

What are we teaching the children?

What are we teaching our children to accept in our schools?
Recently I had a discussion with a retired school teacher.  We were discussing school violence and the lack of awareness to the causes, escalation of behaviors, and pure ignorance of the rights of children who are not violent.  The retired teacher was often involved in learning situations which dictated in class support.
As a former teacher and not a fan of inclusion as the only option for class placement, the newly retired teacher's testimony of eye witness accounts of violent behavior by a grade school child reminded me of days gone past.
The teacher described ongoing scenes in which one violent prone child would demonstrate behaviors which put the classmates and staff in the direct line of the violent behavior.  The classroom teacher, described as low key, allowed the violent child to throw desks.  The other children would be moved to the side of the classroom until the episode was over.  The violent child would then be escorted from the class for counseling, as the children in the classroom would be instructed to pick up the desks and their materials.  They would then be expected to resume their work.
What is wrong with this picture?

Stop the Marches and Stay Home

A 10 year old child, walking home from an Atlantic City school, was hit in the foot by a ricocheted bullet the other day. Some cities hold marches to stop the violence. These marches stopped working years ago because we stopped parenting years ago. The Million Mom March held after Columbine High School massacre was not backed up by substance.

The march was against gun violence via gun ownership. Gun ownership does not translate into violence....but a violent person with access to guns does. A troubled heart with access to anything can turn any tool into a weapon. Hands beat, rape, strangle, and ultimately pull the trigger of a gun...should we cut off hands for preventive measures? Just as removing the body part of a rapist does not solve the problem of rape, new gun laws will not solve the problems we face with gun violence. 

St. Joseph Church Family Pasta Dinner- 2013

The Glorious Mysteries

As an educaor, I know what it means to experience, handle, and seek intervention for disruptive behavior in educational settings. Prayer helped me deal with escalating violence in my classroom and the retaliation that resulted from consistently reporting. I encourage everyone to pray for help in order to prevent an escalation from becoming a national tragedy. We witness prayer vigils after school shootings yet condemn public prayer as a regular part of life. Connie and I are presenting these Rosary teaxchings to those not familiar with this prayer or think it is a boring ritual.. The Rosary is a wonderful way to build community and converse with God. Join the conversation.

Nuclear Threats

Dear God;
I heard on the news today that there is a threat against our country..one of many. You are a God of mercy and justice. You give mercy as You warn us to repent of our ways. I heard those words on Ash Wednesday, "Turn away from sin and pay attention to The Gospel" The Gospel is of course code for Good News. But you are also a God of justice. How else could it be? We want justice for the wrongs done to us. But, we have been wandering in the desert for many years now. We have turned away from the Good News. We legally kill our unborn and call it choice. We turn away from all of your commandments and expect blessings.
Jonah was sent to warn the people of Ninevah. He didn't want to do it, but when he did, the leader of Ninevah and the people in the city (three days wide to walk) put on sack cloth and ashes. The city was spared.
You have given us a warning about a nuclear threat. We know what a nuclear bomb can do. We are the only country to have used one on a population in a city of civilians. We limited that country's right to bear arms after that. The bombs were used to end a terrible scourge of a war in which a madmen and his minions burned up people in ovens.
The people who died in the ovens and in the nuclear blasts were civilians and children. Their lives were sacrificed so others could live. We ask much of other people God. Please forgive us our sins.
We ask once again that you would soften the heart of those who would destroy us. We ask once again that you would soften our hearts. People think guns are causing all the problems in this country. The use of guns to resolve conflict is systemic. But, we know it is the scourge against the innocent children in the womb which, we as a nation sanction, that has your sense of justice outraged.
We ask pardon for our sins and beg you to spare this nation of fruitless fig trees once more. And give us another chance to choose life. We really know God that the only choice that shows mercy is to choose life. Those who have had to battle for their lives know how precious life is but they are blinded by the dark.
I know you love to see the pictures of children posted on FB. But you weep because of the ones who will never have their faces posted.
Maybe this current threat, which many scoff at, will teach us that You sent Jesus to fulfill the words of the prophets. You are a God of justice and mercy. 55 million babies...we silenced their earthly voices but You hear the sounds of their cries.
Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand....He's waiting for your response.

With love and concern for a nation at risk.
Marian

March 8, 2013

Events that tell a story.

"It is my honest and very real fear that if we do not take immediate
action to solve the problem," the company could "stand in jeopardy of losing a flight."
Roger Boisjoly sternly warned ahead of time about the Challenger disaster.
With the Columbia disaster, NASA once again ignored "traditional and time tested" safety warnings which experts found directly contributed to the deadly results.

Prophets are never accepted in their own home. Jesus spoke in parables to those who would not listen. History has recorded the events.

Two by Two 2013 Marian R. Carlino and Tony M.

Bullying

http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/28/opinion/anderson-cooper-bullying/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

     When a child commits suicide because of bullying effects, we all need to look in the mirror.  Research has demonstrated that 85 out of 100 people are onlookers or witnesses to bullying and its effects.
What would you do if you witnessed bullying?  What would do as an adult if a child came to you and reported bullying?
     Watch the documentary.  Share the information.   Don't be a witness who stands there in silence.
Your voice could make the difference between the life and death of a child or adult.
     It is a shame that those who report are often ignored or mocked.  As a child and as a teacher, I know what it is like to have to go to "bat" for the safety of friends (as a child) and as a teacher in public and religious educational settings.
Making a child who is bullied shake hands and "be friends" with the perseon who is bullying makes only the child who is being bullied change.  It is an ineffective approach to deal with the bullying behavior.  In fact, it gives the bully more power.  Bullying is about power and control.
The person who does the bullying needs as much help as the bullied child.  Their behavior needs to be stopped before they do more harm.
The response after a child commits suicide due to bullying is called clean up and recovery for the 99%.
We do have a discussion about the 1% and the 99% in this country.
We can all relate to bullying.  At one point in time we have all played the bully, the bullied and the onlooker.
The mirror has three faces in these scenarios.

Marian R. Carlino
March 1, 2013

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands- Marian R. Carlino and Kevin Keyser

Look Up!!

Look Up!!!
I was standing in the "courtyard" at St. Joe's last night waiting for the kids to arrive. The night sky had many clouds. As I was facing east, a bright light began to show its round curves. Gradually, the bright light began to show more of its shape. I was mesmerized as the form took command of my view. The rounded half circle continued to rise peeking through the clouds and illuminating the dark night. As it came to full circle, this object was a dazzling reflected white. The clouds traveled past it horizontally as it continued its movement upward. The huge white circle seemed to pick up speed as it took its place in the sky. The higher it seemed to go, the size took on a less commanding appearance. But, its white brilliance still left me in awe. I wanted to share the experience with someone so as a co-worker walked out onto the "court', I motioned to her to watch. We stood in the dark admiring the light.
A picture I could not take. In a photo lens the magnificent round object would appear as a dot...nothing special. But, oh, on this night, this object often taken for granted.... one special to Earth but just a piece of rock in the universe. This rock, called Moon, once again reminded me that light means all the difference in a dark world. Hello Moon. We don't always appreciate you. Last night I did!!! Thanks Moon. Thanks God for being so creative.
Look Up!!!! That is where you will find the light!


Marian R. Carlino


February 26, 2013

Prayer for the Unborn

Two by Two 2013 Marian R. Carlino and Connie Reymann

Two by Two 2013 Marian R. Carlino and Connie Reymann

Two by Two 2013 Marian R. Carlino and Connie Reymann

Two by Two 2013 Marian R. Carlino and Connie Reymann

I See Patterns of Dead People

I am not a fan of guns. In fact, it was the very easy access to guns of a young child which factored into my leaving classroom teaching in 1998. I thought at that time I would advocate for new gun laws but that route led to a dead end (no pun intended). Gun laws were already in effect. Gun laws were being broken in all the shootings that had happened during the 1997-98 school year. There were multiple shooting events that school year.
The shooting in Springfield, Oregon sparked the Guide to Safe Schools- Early Warning/Timely Response handbook that a group of experts wrote under the direction of President Clinton and his Attorney General, Janet Reno. It was supposed to have been handed out to all school employees during the 1998-99 school year. It was not and another year of shootings occurred with Columbine High School becoming a name associated with terror and pain.
Local administration, the school board and local prominent NJEA members disagreed with me in 1998 (and may even now to protect their reputations) but the pattern of behaviors and copy cat crime issues also factored into my concerns. Patterns are predictable and many people miss the warning signs. I did not miss warning signs in 1998. One can look at behaviors, access to weapons, and parental issues and draw reasonable conclusions in order to prevent crime and/ or tragedies.
We have a lot of crime committed with guns, including the massacres at our schools. But the most devastating school massacre occurred many years ago using other types of weapons. So, what has made the difference in the gun debate since the massacre at the elementary school in Newtown? Why the rush to buy gun permits and guns on one side of the issue and the rush to ban gun ownership on the other side? Could it be a political football and the children in Newtown are being used as pawns in the game? I watched the follow up news regarding the singing at the SuperBowl. Too much, too little, too late is the expression that comes to mind with that act.
The massacre at Newtown wasn't the first time very young children were attacked in their schools or on school property (including buses) using guns. A group of preschoolers were attacked in a Jewish Community Preschool in 1999. Who remembers the movie "Amish Grace" based on the massacre in the Nickel Mines School in 2006?
But, news media and politicians call the massacre at Newtown a "watershed event" which has sparked this current flow of customers, protesters, and testimonies. How many "watershed events" do we need to realize that the gun is not the problem? Many different types of tools are used to kill people. If new gun laws were the answer, then Chicago would be one of the safest cities in the United States and all my editorials would be about new gun laws.
Victims of gun violence are not experts in violence prevention. We make them "experts" in prevention when in reality, they are victims. Their expertise lies in what it is like to be a victim of gun violence. We hear their testimonies in front of law makers. It makes good television as do the many prayer vigils that occur after a shooting but are banned otherwise.
I am happy to hear the experts talk on both sides of the gun debate. The conversations are actually very affirming of my actions in 1998. People are asked to pay attention to the warning signs and that angry people often use weapons to seek revenge. Something must be done.
I ask people to pay attention to warning signs also and to speak up and be heard. It does take perseverance and a willingness to have the courage of ones convictions to prevent a tragedy.
When a tragedy is prevented, it is hard to prove because nothing happens. When a tragedy isn't prevented, the rights of those who follow the existing laws are often compromised through death, injury, or more restrictive laws that do very little in prevention.
Recently, a bus driver was killed and a child abducted from a school bus (who is still in captivity at this writing). According to initial news reports, the bus driver did not seem to follow school protocol as he stopped the bus for the man enabling the events to escalate to death and abduction. The abductor in this case has a long history of violent patterns in his life. Monday morning quarterbacking is providing that information.
President Obama is asking for a variety of new laws and protocols related to gun violence. An inventory of the laws and protocols that are already established may be more productive than any new law. One might actually find that although people can own guns, using them to kill (unless in self defense) is against the law.
Killing anyone is against the law unless the victim is an unborn child. That debate rages on also with President Obama one of the biggest cheer leaders for killing rights in that debate. And our teacher's associations are also advocates for the rights to abort the unborn. I see patterns with dead people in both debates. We all should be "up in arms" about the untimely deaths of all children to violence. Redundancy in editorials is purposeful.

Marian R. Carlino
February 4, 2013

Hello Kitty---Intimidation

Intimidation...kindergarten style:
Everything I needed to learn I learned in kindergarten (continued)....with zero tolerance we have problems we know. But, threats at any level are a violation of another child's rights. Bullying laws are in place for a reason.
School districts get mocked about these things...but the parents of the child who threatened the other child who has rights( not to be threatened) are getting the upper hand. Where are the parents of the girl who was threatened? Let us hear their voices.
How ignorant for any parent to allow a child to bring any type of toy "gun" with them to kindergarten or any other educational setting. We have had children kill other children when they were in first grade with real guns brought from their homes. Children don't need to know about Newtown, but the adults do.
"Happiness is a toy gun..." and it can get an older person arrested because some can look just like the real thing. In this situation, another lawyer/advocate wants to make a name for himself. Drawings are looked at today too. Why? Because killers (with patterns of violence) always send out warning signs long before they kill.
Kids getting in trouble for playing "cops and robbers" at school was also mocked. Play "cops and robbers" at home. Some behaviors just are not appropriate at school. If a teacher organized a formal game of "cops and robbers" today or had "water gun" fights as a favorite teacher did years ago in my children's school, they would be fired.
If we knew anything about bullying, children use the tools of their young environment to threaten. A toy gun, fist, or verbal threat work just as well as the real thing because to a young victim, the threat is real. "I will hit you with my bookbag." is still a threat. "Give me your lunch or I will beat you up with my little fist" In high school, how many students had their pants taken from gym class? If anyone ever had a high school student, and you were paying attention, even identification badges were tools of high school "pranks" or antics. To some kids, it could have meant bullying instead.
I had a student recently put his arms stretched out across the back of the chairs of the two students who sat on either side of him. That is a also a gesture of intimidation. Stretch out at home on your own sofa. Play "cops and robbers" in your yard, war, or invaders or whatever. We know playing games like that are not out of the norm. But, they are not for school. Let us use a sense of decorum with our children in settings. We do not eat with our toes in public setting even if we have the dextarity to do so.
"Play out" your fantasies of killing others if necessary with imagination. Video games and movie geniuses are making a "killing" in that genre.
How many children "play out" healing others. Buy your child a "medical kit" and help them to heal people with their hands and tools of "the trade". Allow children to play house and be loving mommies and daddies. Children love to play house and comfort dolls. Just watch them if they are living in a loving home. Watch what they do if the house is not a loving house. We do remember our youth. That is why people can say, "it runs in families".
I remember a child running home from school to our house with a bloodied head because he was hit with a stone. It was during our tumultuous 60's in Plainfield. That stone left a memory for me..and how it impacted my little friend. In that mixed neighborhood, not many adults would have helped him because he was black. My mother helped him.
I learned alot in kindergarten. Remember "cooties". I remember the crowd on the steps of kindergarten children who arrived early, saying the other kids walking along had "cooties". You do know what "cooties" are don't you?
I have had students in my class who make negative comments to others everytime another student walks into the group. Now as an adult in charge, I am addressing it but it has gone on a long time so the patterns are set. Patterns can be hard to break. If the venue was a public school in New Jersey, every comment would have to be documented because commenting to others as they walk into a setting can be bullying. These students, as eighth graders, have gotten away with it for years.

It is better to raise a child then fix an adult. Raising children to become loving, responsible adults is not child's play.

Marian R. Carlino
January 20, 2013

So, Everthing I Needed to Learn, I Learned in Kindergarten

A twelve year old boy was found guilty of second degree murder this week. He was accused and found guilty of killing his father when the child was ten. The defense strategy failed. The prosecutors traced the child's history of violence back to kindergarten. According to a brief report in print media, during his kindergarten year, the boy stabbed a teacher with a pencil. The child was a victim himself of alcoholism during his pre-natal stage of life. Was he drinking or was the mother? The prosecutor's presented their case as the child knowing right from wrong so he was not mentally ill, although possibly abused. Abuse can be used in self defense cases but not planned murder.
Some would think that childhood events are developmental, kid's play, or not worth documenting. That is until an angry child, with access to anything that can be used as a weapon (in this case a gun), takes out vengeance. The defense argued that the child grew up in a violent and abusive environment where it was acceptable to kill people who are viewed as a threat.
The child evidently considered his father to be a threat. According to news reports on the trial, the child planned the murder and killed his father while the father slept on the couch. This child needed a child assault prevention program or at least someone to notice the warning signs.
Where did the child learn how to kill? Does it matter? The child was found guilty of second degree murder. What are we teaching our children? I know that we teach children on a regular basis that infants in the womb are to be killed if deemed a threat. As with the juveniles in a famous movie romantizing two violent gangs, this child has a social disease. And he caught it from the adults in his life.

Marian R. Carlino
January 14, 2013

We Can't if the Truth Be Told

Gabby Giffords like so many others are getting on the "gun control" bandwagon because she is literally a face that survived gun violence and is recovering. Her voice will be a significant and important voice because she is a survivor of an event that was planned by a vengeful man. Gun control laws did not work for her because a man used the gun illegally.
Healthcare worked for her though. People rooted for her survival by pulling out all the stops to save her life. Her strength and stamina are to be admired. The love and support of her husband, in a difficult time, is saintly. A lesser man would abandon her.
Ironically, she is pro-abortion and advocates against the life of the unborn who also wants to survive. How can that be? We know in America that a woman has the right to not only have sex with any consenting adult but then also has the right to kill the unborn child which may be created by that right to have sex.
It is a woman's right to choose death for her unborn child by the knife or suction machine. However, if she (or anyone else) chose to use a gun there may be a problem.
How many people struggle to survive daily, yet would not allow their unborn child to survive because of a disability that would need extra care or would need all the stops pulled out for them? Do women struggle with that decision after they realize the hypocrisy of their decisions? Ask them, the answer would be yes if the truth be told.
Gabby Giffords, like Brady before her, is for gun control and yet mass shootings happen as a regular occurrence. I know the death of young children in any mass shooting or homicide brings out empathy and sympathy for the children. Thankfully, that still shows we care. It is an abomination to most of us when a child dies by any means.
In mass shootings, the ones committing these crimes do not usually have legal access to the guns to begin with. People argue against the NRA (not a member) because it advocates for gun ownership (not killing). Yet, federal funding and donations are given freely to Planned Parenthood.
Planned Parenthood is about abortion which results in the death of an unborn child. Some abortions actually result in the death of children outside the womb. Statistics and sources demonstrate how Planned Parenthood makes their money. They make money from abortions (and are not licensed to perform mammograms which some falsely believe).
There will always be people who chose to kill. We have made it a right with abortion. Owning a gun is a right in America. But, no one has the right to kill anyone with that gun because they do not have the right to kill. Even the police and military are subject to investigation when they kill. How can killing the unborn not be investigated?
Clear the scales from your eyes. One can not advocate for the right to kill the unborn yet at the same time think that new gun laws will prevent more massacres. New gun laws will not prevent anything. New gun laws will only be able to be used to prosecute the shooter after he/she has committed the evil.
How can we as a civilized society make a distinction between the deaths of people killed in visible massacres and those killed in secret massacres? We can't if the truth be told.