Violence as a Health Crisis

I applaud the efforts to address violence as a health crisis. There has been a health crisis forever. Guns are symptomatic of the problems we endure as are mental health problems. How many mental health problems are made by man himself? We will not eliminate violence but we can at least try. However, new laws will not be what is successful. We don't listen to the 10 Commandments inspired by God. If we refuse to follow them, yet believe there is a God, then we are in the "pathetic" range of thinking that man-made laws will be followed.
Studies have been completed year after year yet the extremes still continue to happen. We do need to love, offer forgiveness, parent from day one, get rid of "I am okay. You are okay." attitude of life, hold people accountable, stop thinking that drugs do no harm, stop thinking that adultery and divorce are good for society, stop glorifying war, stop romanticizing the after effects of war and massacres, and respect life at all stages.
Violence takes hold when people will not get involved with their own families and communities. That being said, a parent who is involved with the whole community but not their own family is actually a detriment to society. One lone wolf on December 14 did more damage to people than a tornado that ripped apart an entire building on Christmas Day. Does one ever wonder how that can be?
Tornadoes don't take as many lives as one shooter does even when school is in session. Mother Nature is more forgiving than man. Her timing is not vengeful.
We don't rely on God but we certainly blame Him. How can we blame a God we do not believe in?
Public schools sing that "We've got the whole world in our hands." Is that working for us? If we have the whole world in our hands, we are not doing a good job of protecting it. Arming teachers in the classroom is a consideration? That does not give me comfort since we have had teachers assault their students as sexual predators. We have teachers who probably could not pass a drug test?
God sees the bigger picture and hands people a piece of the puzzle. Use it or bury it...the choice (because of free will) is in our hands. We do not "hold the entire world". Unless of course, the piece of the puzzle ripple effects across the whole world.
We praise the mental health of someone who makes gory movies. Tippy Hedren, at the age of 83, is finally telling what Alfred Hitchcock was really like. Genius can be used for good or evil. In cultures steeped with violence, we can see how genius is used. Did Einstein not think that the nuclear bomb would not be used to kill people? How many will be watching a television show which is described in the commercials as "delicious evil."
I grew up in a violent high school in the early 70's. I will never forget the day they yelled "Charge" in my cafeteria. No guns were used that day only bodies moving in riot formation.
Observe the signs early...but that means you would have to address evil. That can't be done without the help of God. I will take His Hand any day.
We should be having the conversation of prevention with people who didn't allow a violent event to happen..or who dealt realistically with the mentally ill. No one is immune so violence is all of our business. How ridiculous that we still continue to think that anyone is immune from the suffering in life. It is how we deal with the suffering that will save lives.
I was ahead of the curve in 1998 because I got a piece of the puzzle and I did not bury it. Thanks be to God who saw the bigger picture.
We just celebrated Christmas. Read the story of Jesus. His life made a difference. From the Cross, Jesus said "Don't weep for me, weep for your children." I do know what that means and am reminded of it at every massacre. So, I write and talk in memory of Jesus and the real life Shannon Wright, both were called teachers. Jesus was killed on the Cross, the tool of his day used to kill. Shannon Wright was killed by a bullet. She died so a child could live.
Security teams only know how to minimize the effects of violence or prevent further carnage. When we call in security experts we are way beyond prevention.
A church in Vineland, NJ was the scene of violence in the early morning hours after Christmas. From news media reports, the people at the church blamed it on the groups they rent to. Pontius Pilate was good at washing his hands too.
He still had blood on them. It seems hypocritical that a church would be the scene of violence. But, evil and hatred in the heart is the one striking out using people to be the messengers.
Our mental health crisis is based on hatred. The USCCB says we need to focus on gun control and better mental health services. With that focus, we are not at the prevention stage of life, we are already into intervention. Allow God to intervene in your life, then prevention will prevail.

Marian R. Carlino
December 27, 2012
edited january 6, 2013

Asking Saves Kids and Playing with Matches

As a direct result of the school shooting in Connecticut, the ownership of guns is once again being discussed. Although gun ownership is part of the discussion, it should not be the focal point. On the same day as the shooting in Newtown, Conn. where nothing was prevented, a plot to kill students was foiled in Oklahoma directed at a high school. The "plotter" in Oklahoma is 18 so we get to learn his name. That is the school we should be looking at for answers. Although there was intervention, there was still no prevention because now an angry student is in deep legal trouble. And, an entire school is dealing with the "Oh My God, Newtown could have been us." That being said, no one was killed because people communicated with each other.
Several years ago, a group advocated for ASK. ASK is the acronym for Asking Saves Kids. One can ask if firearms are located at a house where children play. If the owners are upfront, they will probably respond "yes...but the guns are locked away and out of the hands of the children". If the response is not one that meets with common sense requirements either moral or legal, allow the children to play at a home that does not house weapons. But of course, will an adult ask if a gun is in a house?
Common sense parenting is important when children play together. Unattended children or children with mental health problems use matches too. Children have a fascination with fire as well as with guns. We just witnessed an angry man set fire to his home after allegedly killing his sister, setting the house ablaze and ambushing the responding firefighters. Two firefighters were killed and two wounded. Will firefighters have to bring armed guards with them when they respond to any event because this man, who had beaten his grandmother to death when he was 20 years old, redefine safety issues related to firefighting?
Police have learned the hard way that when responding to domestic disputes, that they do not go alone. In fact, several cars can show up. Domestic disputes have become deadly for the police. They learned from history. That is something we don't seem to understand with these "watershed events" related to school shootings.
The shooting in Newtown and in New York at the scene of the fire were probably a direct result of a domestic dispute. It is said that the sniper in New York left a suicide note. Both shooters took their anger to the community. They killed family members first.
So, who knew that the anger level was escalating? Who knew that the person had a gun? Were there threats? Were there typical signs of trouble before the actual event escalated to national news level? Friends of the mother of the shooter in Newtown have said many things since the shooting. Did they speak up before it?
One major clue to prevention before swat teams are brought in is communication. It is not a violation of anyone's rights to report an issue to police or mental health agencies. Of course, the school psychologist reportedly did not go beyond campus police when dealing with a homicidal student in Aurora, Colorado. If she had reported to authorities his verbal threat to kill others, would the police have found his cache of weapons and bombs before the massacre at a movie theater?
Divorced people know that the most dangerous time for the family's life is during the divorce process. It does not take a genius or expert to read the signs and act to prevent or intervene early one. Unresolved disputes can escalate way beyond their natural level when vengeful anger factors in.
Resolving conflicts involves getting involved. And understanding, that violence can indeed happen in any house or neighborhood. How ridiculous it sounds when people think that a rural area or pretty neighborhood is not susceptible.
The mantra now is to list the names of gun owners. Let's punish everyone for the criminals. That seems to be the course of action. Should we publish the names of gun owners? That will not help the situation. I can not tell you the name of the sexual predator who lived on my block in my town without facing criminal charges but you can find it on the Megan's List. How many sexual predators strike out again even when on the list? (See "Not in My Neighborhood. Yes, in My Neighborhood."
I do know that when the "Monday morning quarterbacking" is completed after a shooting, the answers are always the same. Someone had access to a tool, used it in anger to injure others. Often times the history goes back to what they did when they were children. We can't stop all violence...but we can use common sense approaches to dealing with it in our lives.
We can start by teaching children that regardless of the issues in their lives, hurting others is not the answer. So don't tell the table it is bad when your kid falls into it or beat the dog if it takes food off a low table.
Parenting is difficult but raising a child is a better route to prevention than fixing an adult. It has been a problem historically to get that right..and no one gets a pass.

Marian R. Carlino
December 26, 2012

What's in a name or location?

I can not help but think of the young man who has life in prison for being one of the Washington, D.C. snipers. Along with an adult male who was executed in 2009, Lee Boyd Malvo managed to kill and maim people on a killing spree in the Washington, D.C, Virginia, and Maryland area in 2002.
Unlike the hand wringing that is going on to try to explain how a man from a wealthy town in Connecticut could cause such carnage, I don't recall the hand wringing related to Malvo. However, their stories are not that different in the beginning and in the end. I know we are not supposed to blame the parents and one should not if the maniacs are adults, but there was a failure to parent in both situations.
Both young men turned to violence and darkness.

When we wring out hands we may forget that regardless of the mental state, no one has the right to take the life of another. They may live in video games, but I don't.
Hitler was maniacal. Look what he did. Wring your hands and get answers. I am tired of living in the Dark Ages.

We were created for good. Jesus said God is good.
If we go about blaming Him instead of free will, we miss the point of life. I know that God sees the bigger picture. My trust is in Him. He has trusted us with life. He sees the bigger picture and gives pieces of the puzzle. People choose what they want to do with that puzzle piece. They can use it for good, for death or bury it.

What would you do? Is the abnormal so acceptable now that we have grown accustomed to massacres in America? The German got accustomed to people being taken away on trains because they allowed a madman to rule.
Man has the propensity towards evil. It must be fought at every step.
Jesus has the game plan. Parents should be very aware when the children are going into very dark places. When they emerge into the sunlight, they just may use their gifts for evil. Death be not proud. Intelligence is a gift that needs to be nurtured. Nurture it well.
Einstein helped create the atom bomb. The Unabomber killed. Holmes from Aurora, Colorado- genius- used his gifts for a well planned massacre. Some of his plans did not materialize although could have without a moment of sanity appearing. Adam Lanza the new name on the massacre list is also considered a genius.
Wolves need to be fed with good food to make them friendly.
I don't care how mentally ill someone is or how troubled. They do not have any right to kill or hurt another. Our schools and parents better start feeding the young wolves with soul food.
The Good Shepherd protected the sheep of the flock. That is what good shepherds do, they protect their flock. Sometimes they lay down their lives. That does not have to mean death. It just may mean recognizing the needs of the little wolves in one's care. It may mean recognizing the puzzle piece that would prevent a tragedy instead of needing to call in rescue and recovery.
We tend to romanticize these shootings with the prayer services, warm fuzzy feelings..but the anger stage hasn't set in yet for the families. The media doesn't show that until another massacre occurs and the victims from the last one are called in for an interview.

Marian R. Carlino
December 21, 2012

Making a Difference

I must admit I am angry about the events of December 14, 2012. It is good to be angry at times. Jesus, like us in every way but sin, got angry. He threw the money changers out of the Temple, and I can just imagine His face when Peter cut off the ear of the guard. Jesus healed that ear. He must have had some righteous anger in him to heal. Righteous anger is good. It can lead to action that can actually heal a situation or prevent one. Jesus was one who made a difference in a positive way.
Others leave legacies that are full of bad fruit. One night in a religious education class, I was asked if I knew who Amanda Todd was. Although I did not know her name, I knew the circumstance surrounding her death. She committed suicide online after a series of events in her young life. Her choice to commit suicide left bad fruit for her family regardless of the circumstances which led to her choice. Her example for other young people is atrocious. We need to counteract that example.
Life is about choices. We can make a difference for good or we can make a difference for evil. Evil gets a stronghold when good people do nothing.
When will we ever learn, when will we ever learn?
I choose to make a difference following the example of Jesus. He healed, fed, loved in truth, and laid down his life for friends. They are saying there were real heroes in the Connecticut school on December 14, 2012. I hope the children who survived the massacre will look to the good of those heroes, and not succumb to the despair that the shooter exemplified.
Jesus always gave hope. It was when he was not believed that people got into trouble. The Bible makes no excuses for Judas. The servants are not greater than the Master so we will always have Judas' in life. The key is to keep Jesus in mind when that happens.

What would Jesus do? We know He made a difference. We are still celebrating His birth over 2000 years after it. Even the secular world benefits by His name. Otherwise, December 25 would be just any other ordinary day to us.

Marian R. Carlino
December 18, 2012

"9/11 for teachers?"

"It's going to be a tough day," said Richard Cantlupe, an American history teacher at Westglades Middle School in Parkland, Fla. "This was like our 9/11 for schoolteachers."
This statement was in an article on Comcast.net
Now, the description of this teacher is that of one who teaches history. Where has he been since April 20, 1999?
His statement makes me wonder how many other teachers feel the same way and have had their heads buried in the sand all these years too.
(There were heroes on December 14, 2012, but there are always heroic stories that come out of a war zone. This day of war was preventable.)

Marian R. Carlino
December 17, 2012

Deliver Us From Evil

I attended a day of workshops recently regarding storm preparation.. A representative from the American Red Cross stated that one of the myths in relating to a storm is that "it can not happen here". Well, we have learned at least three times since August 2011 that storms do indeed happen here. New Jersey is not immune. People don't need to live in fear, just in reality. When authorities indicate that a storm with the potential to wreak havoc is on the way, we should prepare. We can minimize damage, but a storm has power all its own over which we have no control. We have learned that if we listen to the directions regarding preparation, lives are saved. Mother Nature can cause serious structural damage, and yet, many times there are no lives lost. A man was carried aloft in his truck during a tornado on Thursday, December 13, 2012 yet he was uninjured. Relatively few deaths occurred as a result of Hurricane Sandy and most of those occurred because people "rode out the storm" or were injured after the storm and did not follow directions.
Man's wrath is not as forgiving. Man (or a woman) can stand outside or enter a structure with a weapon of choice, and create very little structural damage, but can kill, injure or maim many. We have more life destroying man made disasters than life destroying natural ones. Unlike super storms, derechos or earthquakes over which we have no control, (sorry Mr. Freeze), we do have control over man.
After life altering events, especially at schools which are supposed to be safe, the usual discussion begins with "we did not think it could happen here" or the type of surroundings are described as though that matters when someone sets out to kill. Crime has never just been unique to poor urban areas. Crime is hidden in upper middle class neighborhoods. So far, every massacre planned and executed by generally single, white, mentally ill men have been in areas described as middle to upper middle class.
The investigation is still ongoing with the massacre at the Connecticut elementary school. A single human being set out to kill and was quite successful. Suicide is the usual course of action after such an event. We can and must exercise control over man made disasters, because just like in natural occurrences, warnings are issued. Why does one plot to murder get discovered while others go unnoticed? A plot was discovered last week aimed at another school. That planned murder spree, using bombs at the front door of a school, was prevented. What was the difference between the two situations?
News medias in their rush to report the news have reported conflicting information about the event in Connecticut. In this case thus far, family members of the alleged shooter are cooperating with police. Now, let us hope that the school district does the same. In every tragedy at a school to date, information is suppressed and reporters eventually have to dig deep to get answers. Answers are needed for healing and to aid in the learning curve.
One thing we know for sure, nothing was prevented at the elementary school in Connecticut on December 14, 2012. Prevention means that something is stopped before it begins. True prevention begins with the understanding that tragedy can strike anywhere. Copy cat crimes are a reality and man plots against man at all times. Swat teams are a response to a live event, they are not preventing one. "Superman" flies in when someone is already in trouble.
Numbers seem to be important too. The greater the number of people killed, the greater the discussion. It is ironic that God, who sees the bigger picture for us all, weeps at the death of one at the hands of the violent. He sends messengers and gives pieces of the puzzle to real people. When we receive the piece that fits do we bury it? Do we abuse the messengers? Do we act as though we are immune and nothing of extremes could happen here?
The investigation into the massacre at the Connecticut elementary school will answer those questions as it relates to this massacre. If one reads the reports on the massacre in Aurora, Colorado where a mentally ill man killed many, one will read that at least one key piece to the puzzle was buried. The shooter was no longer a student at a University so his threats to kill others was buried. They had to send in the swat teams but the damage was already done. I have a simple suggestion, if one threatens to kill one, call the police. Police would rather help prevent a tragedy than do rescue and recovery.
Guns were used in Connecticut, but one day before, in a school in China, a man used a knife that injured many. Some killers use bombs, ropes, or chemicals. Life and death is all about choice. Life is a happier choice for all.
Prevention begins with prayer and prayer leads to action.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but DELIVER US FROM EVIL. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, now and forever. Amen

Marian R. Carlino
December 16, 2012

Send in the Swat Teams

   May 22, 2018...so the kid with the swat team solution was a very troubled and trouble maker in 8th grade...CCD at least.  When I expressed my concerns..Some volunteer teachers and those paid ..thought that we weren't responsible at CCD.

•  The pastor called me quirky...same word the principal said I was in 1998.  Sticks and stones..and names  ...call me any name you would like.. is it any surprise that the pastor was once and may be again...a school principal?  He did talk to the family and found out some interesting information.   When a bug is up my bonnet, network news usually explains why.  

Original post...
About four years ago, I started presenting child assault prevention workshops to children in a religious education program.  The presentations are brief but length of presentations does not necessarily guarantee a better response.  If someone takes to heart the message of prevention, the message does not have to be lengthy.
    I asked a group of fourth graders about preventative measures related to all forms of assaults (including bullying).  Most responses involved "telling an adult" therefore adults need to be listening when children talk.
One child had a very worldly view of prevention when it came to prevention.  He said, "call in a swat team".  As I told the child, if it is necessary to call in a swat team, nothing has been prevented then.
     So, when I hear on the news that a greater tragedy was prevented, I can't help but think of those directly affected by man made terror.  I am not an advocate of creating new gun control laws.  There are already so many on the books.  The shooter on December 11, 2012 allegedly stole the gun he used in his angry onslaught at the mall in Oregon.  The shooter in Aurora, Colorado had a history of mental illness so he had no right to own a gun either.
     I am an advocate for prevention.  Angry people with access to guns can cause a massacre regardless of the numbers killed.  Tomorrow or the day after, reports will come out about the shooter. The reports will point to some indication of a troubled past- recent or lengthy. One thing we do know, that copycat crimes are a reality.  So, this could have been a copycat crime.  
     Yesterday, tornadoes tore through sections of the country.  How many people died yesterday in them? "Mother Nature", in her wrath,  is usually more gentle than man's wrath.

Marian R. Carlino
December 12, 2012
    

Walking with a Purpose

Walking with a Purpose


It is Sunday, December 9, 2012 and I am sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament again because I am substituting for a substitute who was substituting for a substitute for Adoration.  Ironically, the one scheduled adorer was a substitute teacher but she now works in real estate so Sundays are no longer free.  Her substitute was hit by a car and is also a friend of mine.
In a quiet church, no one but another friend and the church mice were present with God, when I could hear the doors in the back open and heard heeled shoes start up the side isle.  The walk was loud, steady and fast paced with purpose.  The face attached to the body attached to the shoes was of a thirty something woman who headed directly toward the Infant of Prague statue.  She said a quick prayer at the statue then headed to the altar in front of the Blessed Sacrament.  She only remained a minute there then exited with the same purposeful pace out to the door.  Her prayer was quick but intense.  I have no idea for what she prayed but I do know I will pray for her intentions and God’s will be done in them.
My mom always made quick visits to the church in our neighborhood.  We would just stop in.  It was teaching that did not go unnoticed by me.  I make visits often!
I picked up the bulletin from Our Lady of Sorrows to read.  The reflection for today goes as follows on Luke’s Gospel.  There is no credit given to the one who wrote the reflection.

Mary do you know that our babies are in trouble?

Each day is a holy day.  It is given to us as a gift.  We realize how precious the gift of days is when our days are numbered by an illness or tragedy.  So we pray.  In the Catholic Church we have Holy Days of Obligation.  Sundays and observing Holy Days of Obligation are really a wise tradition.  The days make us take time out of our artificially busy schedules to sit with God and listen.  God is always present to us, but we are not always present to Him.
Yesterday, on December 8, 2012, I took time to sit with God in a retreat at St. Gianna  Beretta Molla's Parish in Northfield, NJ. It was the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (of Mary, not Jesus).  Mary as the Immaculate Conception is the Patron Saint of the United States of America.
The Advent retreat started with a skit.  A young boy had to guess the profession  of St.Luke, one of the Gospel writers.  Of course, St. Luke's trained profession was as a doctor.  St. Gianna Beretta Molla was also a doctor.  She was also a mother who gave her life for her child. St. Gianna is a present day
canonized Saint.  The blessing of the day involved meeting a friend.  I would say about 100 adults and children participated in this retreat.
I also attended the National Night of Prayer for Life at Our Lady of Sorrows Church in Linwood, NJ from 9 pm to 1am.  The night was a night of communal prayer in saying The Rosary, listening to musical reflections, and silent meditation.  This was also a retreat from the artificially busy world.  About 25 people participated through the night.  Virginia Godleski's beautiful songs for pro-life were sung.
As I was reading during the silent meditation, I found this prayer by an unknown writer.  I kept being drawn to reading it so I include it here.  A few years ago, I handed it out to mothers I knew.  Please share it with mothers and fathers in your life.  There were mothers praying last night, but the most powerful witness to me was from the women who would love to be mothers, but are not able to conceive.  They are mothers too because they care about the children of others.  Blessings on all the women who are mothers in spirit to many.
Consecration of the Children to Mary, the Mother of God:
O most Holy Mary, Mother of the All-Knowing God, I give you all the children He has put into my life.  In Your Motherly tenderness protect them from every negative influence, even those now growing in the warmth and secrecy of their mother's womb and those yet to be conceived into our families and lives in the years to come.  To Your Immaculate Heart I consecrate their bodies and souls, their hearts and their minds.
Forever protect them throughout their changing lives: the miraculous pre-natal growth, during infancy, the toddler stage, grammar school age, and the fragile teen years (and middle school!), college age, adulthood, and even into old age.  Guard over their youth, and keep their hearts pure, their thoughts holy, innocent and childlike as Jesus has taught us.  Bestow on them the grades they need to live according to God's own special design for each one of them.  Protect them always throughout life and preserve their innocence.  Stay close to them as they experience joys and live through sorrows and endure failures.  Uplift their spirits when disappointments take their toll on them.  Clothe them with Your purity and love in their relationships and commitments.
Mother them as You mothered little Jesus; shelter them from distractions that may harm and prevent their true happiness.  Most Holy Mary, these children that God has put into my life are now as much Yours as they are mine through this Act of Consecration.
Wrap them in the mantle of Your Immaculate Heart and lead them to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  Bless our families.  Pray for our families, that we may take our example from the Holy Family and live as holy families too.  Be with us always, and teach us how to pray and live good Christian lives.
And when our Divine Creator sees fit to call them and me one by one to Himself, may we all merit Heaven where one day we shall live together in His true peace, praising Almighty God face to face for all eternity.
Amen.

Mary and Gianna were present last night also.  They made sure I found these words.
Oh, Holy Day!!

Mary did you know?

Marian R. Carlino  (with the inspiration of two Holy and exemplary mothers!!)
December 9, 2012